freedom

2008-09-18T23:32:00.002+08:00

3 months nv blog le. Now on my block leave from NS and really losing motivation sia while during this block leave. This block leave seems so long yet short at the same time. Tml get posting le. Dunno how shld i feel lor, since you can't do anything much once u get ur posting. But the 3 months in tekong have been a wonderful experience. Meeting new ppl, talking cock and also all the nonsense/crazy stuff tt we jarguar platoon 1 have did tgt. Thinking back, we really cockster sia. Still rmb, the first few days when trying to get to know one and another. Everybody seems so diff from now. But i am still glad tt i went into ptp and into the company jarguar as i met a lot of nice ppl and in the end made gd friends with them.

Yesterday went batam with them, is a nice and short trip. Went for my first foot massage and was really scared that it was really painful lor. Thought tt the 1 and an half hour would be a very long time but time passes quite quickly. Did not expect there would be a tv there. So watch the tv and time passes even more quickly. Conclusion is enjoy the trip and the ppl who go with me.

i hope my next phase of army life would be even more enjoyable but a lot of ppl say the only gd time in ns is during bmt phase which is true. I find it fun and enjoyable. Watever posting i get tml, i hope my life there would be a enjoyable one.

Will find more time to blog. Hope at least once a week. Time to change blogskin if i have the time

2008-06-05T00:46:00.002+08:00

i just want to blog about it. Ya i think my perception of life need a change. i need to have a more pesstimistic life outlook as i dun think hope is out there somewhere anymore. but i will carry on walking forward, waiting for tt day to come

2008-06-02T02:20:00.001+08:00

i dun believe in miracle anymore, maybe i shld just believe in luck instead. I am such a idiot.

2008-05-31T18:36:00.003+08:00

Yeah is rotting here. Dun feel like blogging the last few months. Been rotting at home after the trip to bangkok. Was terrible as i was sick during the trip to bangkok. Anyway is over and after tt derrick intro me a job which i worked for 3 weeks and during tt time there was also a graduating ceremony which i find it quite boring. After the ceremony, a few of us went to swensen to eat our dinner.

Yesterday was the last day of my work. Our manager elsie is a very nice person and keep treating us tea break and a lunch. Haha and our job is finally done and i can escape from those "errors".

*i dunno can i can do anymore, i am just in a loss.
Pls take anything from me to grant my selfish wish *

2008-03-23T02:52:00.002+08:00

Was at HQ today. Bought the printer to HQ and install. Was hoping it can be done in one day but we dun have the pw to enter the computer. Hais...... Then found out the cert can go up to 200 gsm and the printer can printer up to 120 gsm. Lucky is a cheap 3 in 1 printer. At least it can replace the old printer. The old printer can also be used in camps or event to print last min stuff.

Then stayed with chub for the promotion exercise. But the result, chub was happy with it. Can't say the result yet. Haha. They will find out for themselves.

Lucky i stayed. Enjoy the talk we had in the room with wen xu,chub,fida and zi peng. Haha gossiping, talking about corp stuff....... fun time to burn.

then later went with fida and chub to go army market eat before going home. Hais wat am i going to do tml. Boring boring boring.......

2008-03-22T01:55:00.002+08:00

i am offically out of job. Hais...... Rot at home so bored sia... I want to find a job but i am going overseas on 8 april till 15 april. Going with another 3 friends and hope i can enjoy the holiday there. I am really worried if there are any trouble or problems tt arise from there. Afterall i am the main person organising it.

So i have been to all sjab event this yr. I am really getting a bit bored of it too. I guess i will tone down after games day. If not is really tired. I guess the most impt thing is the corp issue. After it is done i guess is about time to go NS. Hmmm I still feel that i am in sjab, i haven't found the place that i belong. Is a mix feeling...... And ppl not in sjab won't understand it!!!! i finally realise that.

I just feel that i just dunno wat i want yet at the moment thus i am so confused now. The only gd news i guess is i graduated smoothly.

2008-03-04T01:55:00.002+08:00

i wanted to change the blog skin for my blog but i haven't see anything tt is worth to change right now. I guess i would have to change it tml. I guess i have to find time tml to clean up my room. Hope i can find work soon. I just i will go off to sleep now. Tired......

2008-03-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

Tired sia. Been walking for two days in the natas fare for two days and working/walking for two days liao. My leg can break liao sia. The food really cmi sia. Chicken that is cook in many diff ways and those hard rice. Really like camp food sia. Drank so much coke light till i really dun feel like drinking coke liao. So tml is the last day......... Hais....... Time pass quite fast today. I also must change shoe liao, i think the shoe that i am using is a bit too small. Walk till my leg pain sia.

2008-02-29T00:18:00.002+08:00

Finally i get to blog after so long time. Finally finish my exam i guess is time to rest and work. Hmmmm does not know why i feel that i need $$ right now. Maybe i that i want to c my bank account those digit go up the number instead of going down. Before my last paper, was so disappointed in my PMT marks. Just got a pass where everybody score quite well. However the last Cre paper, i feel was quite alright despite the 17m qns i did not get the correct answer but i believe my working were are correct so i guess i can get the working marks. Hope to get my result soon. Shld be getting it on 10 of march. I believe i can pass all the papers so I think i am just waiting for graduation only.

Things to do:
Look for work
Rest
Go take kayaking 2 stars
Finish my POC admin stuff
*****GO RETAKE MY NAPFA*******

Sometimes i feel is not worth it to do extra stuff yet i still do it. Y? Cos i want something to be done, cos i want to be part of it. But y things always dun go well.........

I am looking for a miracle and light but before i find that i can only say to myself "Is still not time for you to fall"

2008-01-20T23:42:00.001+08:00

be strong

2008-01-20T02:30:00.000+08:00

i am tired, i am exhausted, i feel not being trusted. I lost my energy to get angry, i just hope everything can end early.

But i still can't fall, this body dun allow me too, my mind dun allow me to. This is not the time to fall, it is till quite some time to reach tt.

My str in moving on, huh????????

2008-01-15T03:10:00.000+08:00

I keep asking myself to endure and cool down and endure and cool down but it seems i need some channel to complain to right. The poc is really getting more and more crap. Ppl keep emailing me or calling about problems and i am suppose to solve all the problems. OH great....... I seriously hope i can solve those problem and stop those people giving me anymore problems. So tml need to call the trophy maker to change some trophy. Y can't u all just confirm with me the trophy earlier so that i did not waste my time and effort choosing the trophy. No names no nothing, ARRRRRR making my job just harder. Piss............ but eric can endure................

Later wat a long day ok. Sch sch sch, sjab meeting and still need to go fetch my mom. Who knows wat time shall i get home and how much time do i get to rest, study and finish those forever unfinish sjab stuff. I am going nuts if this carry on. I getting broke too........ Hope i win 4D to replenish my pocket and wallet. Is it always be when there is trouble, then u will c ur true friend. I am in no mood for jokes and lameness.

* the thought of you keep me going*
i can't fall now........ is still too early

2008-01-07T01:52:00.000+08:00

Feeling damm awful when i reach home lor. My dad scolded me for using the car for too late and my mom locked me out of the house cos i stay out too late. But i was like too lazy to say anymore stuff, i just complain abit and went into my room. I was like feel damm peaceful in the room, w/o any noise and scolding........... I admit tt i had been staying out late lately cos of the new yr, christmas and stuff + now got sjab poc to handle and i also want to chill out with my friends after a day of stressful meeting. I just guess parents dun understand tt and i dun expect them to understand it. It will be a waste of time to even tell them cos i will end up get more nagging.

Yesterday has a long night of meeting to 11.40pm then took almost the last train back to eunos. Meeting at burger king then after tt went to have milkshake. i guess i spending a lot lately. Missing my sleep and when i go back to face my projects and tutorial just feel yucks. . . . . Hope my main exam is not tt soon so tt i have time to catch up later after i finish with poc. Just really dun want any screw up on tt day. Aiming for a perfect POC. MUHAHAHAHA.........

Sch has been boring lately, the PMT lar, so boring lor. The teacher really follow book by book one. His ricebowl is more impt than his passion in teaching. But still can understand the lecture.

Wonder how long can i still push myself.........just wish u were there for me

2007-12-30T03:19:00.000+08:00

Haha i reach home at 3am today and went out like 10.15am lor. Spend so much time outside today. Had a NCO course meeting to choose those best trainee and i dunno them so i didn't choose them. Then after tt huang huang kena chairperson got POC then after tt he say he cannot make it. Dunno is 6th sense of wat, i got a feeling tt i might kena lor. Then really lor, i kena the work. This time i take it as a challenge ba. Since i done treasure hunt liao, maybe i can do this POC better. CHEERS!!!!!! But i think i will be super bz during jan. Lucky i pass my driving liao so can do more work in a shorter frame of time. I hope this POC will be a very fun one. Much MUch MUCH more things to do lor. This yr nco course has been fun so i think the planning of the work shld be easiler. Hope to pull this off safety and no more project next yr cos i going NS. hais....................

Went out with huang huang, tao tao, QQ to watch movie lor. Too bad MIAO MIAO cannot make it. Sian lor, got 5 person then fun lor. Went vivo one then cannot get the tickets when the board only shows tt it is selling fast. Wasted our time queuing for the tickets lor. Then after tt use the AXS machine book the tickets at J8. Then rushed down to bedok and get car to drive to J8. THEN traffic jam........................... Reach late for the movie for around 25mins. But i think tt still ok ba, at least we still can go in and watch. After tt went to eat at long john and chit chat. Then went to play arcade. Sad lor arcade close at around 11.45pm. Thought can play a while longer but they dun allow us to change anymore $$. So we went to hougang to eat supper....(those ppl really can eat lor) and cont chit chat then after tt i drove them home. Tiring day lor but fun, haha hope more outing. SJAB BBQ coming up next. Hahaha.......... confirm this bbq not i plan liao. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME TO CHANGE MY TEMPLATES FOR BLOG TML....................

2007-12-27T01:54:00.000+08:00

Finally going to recover soon. Hate it to be sick during christmas. Can't even celebrate it. Haha. Later going to watch the movie " I'm the legend" Hope is nice ba. Paying $8 for it lor. Feel so ex. Getting more broke sia. I want to get a new wallet cos my current wallet seems like spoliting lor. I think i getting it after chi new yr ba, when my pocket got $$.

This sat got nco meeting lor. Hope is a short one. I wonder y this yr NCO t-shirt also like tt. Forget to print instructors. Two yrs of instructor in nco course and both times like tt. Weird????? Hope to have another mahjong session soon. :)

2007-12-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIAO MIAO oh tt yesterday!!!!! LOL

Blogging after 1 month. Got shoot liao. Haha.

This yr nco course was fun but i feel damm shac lor. Even just to organise hiking, i have to go rakee on sat and actual hike was on sun. Too bad the rakee i went with the rest of the instructors went not tt smoothly. COS IT RAINS. I hate raining season, can't do much things. This yr instructors i think i manage to rmb all their name lei. Haha i think i getting better at rmb ppl names. Anyway it all end smoothly but i slip off on sunday night cos i having presentation. Lucky sia, i heard the training after campfire was siao one. Haha

Yesterday(t0day), went with tao tao(joyce), QQ( kelvinson) and the birthday girl (miao miao) go orchand shopping and also eat steam boat at marina south. Actually i was the one shopping lar. Haha. The things still quite ex lor despite christmas is coming. I think price will go down after christmas and chi new yr. The dinner was nice lor, lucky nv waste a lot of food. Today damm funny lor, my van keep running on low fuel and somemore go petrol station twice lor. Cos i want to save $$. Broke liao wat now. Haha. Thanks jin hui for lending me his carpark at his condo. Parkway really cannot find carpark one lor. So many ppl today, also dunno y. I think last min shopping ba.

So today went:

Pick up Tao Tao
Went PP and petrol station
Pick up QQ
Pick up Miao Miao
Go orchand
Go eat steam boat

I think i really becoming "ambulance driver" liao lor. Hahaha!! :)

2007-11-24T01:41:00.000+08:00

Waking up everyday, opening the eyes just hoping to see a miracle happen. Believing in the path.

Feeling so lonely lately. I know why but dunno how to solve it. Same old feeling tt has not changed.

Later having precamp. I having mix feeling. I dun feel like going yet feel like giving myself a chance to c how i feel about it. I done too much things tt r unforgiving last yr. Hope i can make up to it. Life suddenly feel like repeating itself........ I am not the person today and i am another person tml.

*Is hard to walk on a path that u believe*

2007-10-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

Finally finish with my MP. Really hope to get at least a B. I know my project is crap and all but it has 8 cu on it. Pray hard day and night for a B ba. Been so bz with my MP lately that i haven't really got enough rest. Sunday slept the whole day. Wah feel so gd.

My last sem already. It seems everything pass so fast and ya soon is army. I want to go Uni if possible. While searching for ads online for job for csas hw. I rather have Uni graduate pay. $2500 sound much nicer than a $1600 pay right. Some even has $3000 as pay. Woooo. That is really a lot. I feel that living in Singapore really need more money in order to survive.

I think i got the want to buy things sickness liao. Wish list: Get a another ram, a external harddisc 3.5 inch one, wireless keyboard and mouse, new clothes, go holiday..............

HAHAHAHA and i am sort of broke now~~~~~~~~

2007-09-16T23:33:00.000+08:00

Attachment coming to an end soon which means i have to start on my MP report real soon. Hate it ok. Doing something i dun really like. Hais........ Complaining will get me no where. Yet i still dun want to do my report.

10 more working days to end my attachment and i have one more day of leave to take. Shld i take it or not? C how lar. Really fast, a 4 month attachment going to finish soon.

I have a lot of plans after my attachment. But i scared i dun have enough time to finish them all.

*waiting for a miracle to happen*
does everyone in the world wait for miracle to happen

2007-09-09T23:58:00.001+08:00

*if i doing something and i scared tt i will regret it, how about think tt w/o doing it also will make u regret it*

no wonder ppl say life is full of regret. but if life is w/o regret, how can tt be call life :)

Just hope my life has lesser regrets.

Went to suntec today. There got a game convention which showcase ps3, ds lite, Wii, computer game, Xbox 360. Haha very interesting, looking at my friends going after one girl telephone number and failed. Haha interesting feeling ok. I played the ps 3, one of the ducking games. Its a very cute game and really need skill to play tt game.

After tt met deb in Shaw House. Nv drive in orchand before. Really can't take it. Next time i tried not to drive in. Scary feeling..... TOO MUCH CARS.......... Thanks deb for the lollipop. Green apple. Its nice and i really forget the last time i had a lollipop. Had a nice chat with you and hope she dun worried too much of her SIP. It's just another experience in life. Is good to c her smiles a lot. Haha

After tt i drove home for dinner and watch channel 8 the 7pm show. Seriously i think tt it is a very meaningful show. At least it touch my heart ok. I dun think singapore can make this kind of show. Sorry to say tt but this is how i think about it.
A sentence from the show " i dunno how long i can live until but when the day i die, i will know tt i have not waste my lifetime away"

I also hope i can do tt XD

2007-09-09T00:50:00.000+08:00

Life might be sad,alone and depressed yet the only way is to move forward. I am just a very bad person which can't express my feeling and thoughts well.

*3 more weeks* i just know i will miss tt place

2007-09-04T00:00:00.001+08:00

Life itselfs is a miracles. Life is just a sad place to live in. How u want to change it is up to you? I trying to cheer myself up to live a better life. C how it works.

R dreams suppose to help u cope with ur miserable life or once u wake up, u will realise u just has nothing at the first place. Wat happen if a dreams become a reality while in your mind u just know it is just a dream. I really would like to know.......

ONE MORE MONTH OF SIP

2007-08-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

If i got the time, i think i shld change the blogskin. I have been using it for a really long time. SIP has been ok, now i fear MP. I just realise that this sat, i have to return back to sch. This means i have to finish type another 2 page report and also add more things into my MP logbk. Hais............. After doing SIP for 2 months, sometimes it seems better than going back to sch. My poly sch days are getting to an end and my NS days are coming closer.

2007-07-31T23:22:00.000+08:00

Debb tagged me

RULES OF THE GAME
Each player of the game starts off with ten
weird things or habits or known facts abt
yourself. People who get tagged must write
it in a blog of their own ten weird things or
habits or little known facts as well as state
this rule clearly. At the end you must choose
6 people to be tagged and list their names.
No tag backs.

Okay here goes then:

#1 I found say lame stuff and end up just to entertain myself.

#2 Normally i can't sleep on the bus,train or elsewhere except on bed or flat surface.

#3 I still watch pokemon :)

#4 i am stubborn in someway or another.

#5 i hate the word "colourblind".

#6 i hate bugs,insects and watever creepy.

#7 Often tell myself to study early yet end up last min study and burn midnight oil.

#8 I find my blood sweet.

#9 i hate getting bored.

#10 i dun eat any seafood except fish.

i tag:
Farhan,joyce,pei xuan, mirabella and grace..... :)

2007-07-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

friday went for the company sports day. It was quite fun, i must say. Enjoy the rock climbing and air rifling especially. After tt still met serene for dinner. Haha she start work at polyclinic liao. Dunno she "kill" how many ppl liao. hehe i am so evil :)

Then on sat went out with leo and wanted to watch harry potter but in the end nv watch cos all the cinema was fully booked. Then went to PS for a walk and bought some vcd and dvd. Still consider a enjoyable day ba.

Today went out with shi xiang to suntec to c laptop. I seriously dunno want to buy a laptop or not. Haha. I want it cos to help me with my MP and SIP and also partly i want it but the problem is the duration i need it and do i really need it. Hais....... Maybe i getting it cos i getting paid too. C how tml.

I am really getting more and more sick. More coughing and still more coughing. Yet i dun have a cough. It just cough anytime i like esp when i am stress. Do i need to c a doctor? It feels tt i dun want to waste this $$.

My temper also seems to get better i guess. Is it cos i am getting sick of everything so i just dun care even about being angry. Or my patience is getting better. Haha anyway is a gd thing right.

"i wish to c u..........."

2007-07-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

tml my company sport day. Finally it seems like a mini break after the long hours of stoning. Went to iron man twice this week. Iron is our company fabricator which will help us make things and we have to go there and look at the product and inspect it lor. At least can sit the company car and go out for a while better than stoning in the company.

my 6th week going to end soon and my MP seems no where in sight. Haha DIE!!!!

2007-07-15T21:16:00.000+08:00

SIP

My sip is ok ba just tt reading wikipedia all the way from the start of work to the end with some work in the middle. Hais....... Dunno how to carry on with such sip. Can learn to stone liao. More worried about my MP which i dunno how to do it and type my report lor. The topics is really narrow and i dunno i can really clock 120 hours in total or not. It just make no sense working there as my sip. Can i endure longer to the end of 4 months??? I believe i can..........

Went for cosfest the last two days. Saw quite many familar anime faces and took quite a few pictures. But sunday really has more things to look at compare to sat as sunday is the last day...

My heads is breaking, my soul is also breaking, my heart which broken into many pieces is continue being broken. I am tired, i am scared, i am just lost. Yet it felt strange. Shld i rather take my chance and sleep which i think i would have more chances meeting u in my dreams rather waiting and feel scared to meet u each time.......

*Living in my own world, living in my own dreams to forgot all the pain just for a little while longer is still worth it*

2007-06-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

Wah really tired today sia. Went with leo for dinner and then went to beach to chit chat a while before i go out to compresspoint to fetch my mom. Today working was really really tired. Watching the video for like 8 hours. My eyes was like very tired after watching the video. The word keep coming to my mind was to endure and endure till the day end. Dunno can survive for 4 months and this is only my 3rd week. Tired tired.

A long day on sat. SJAB, sch, SJAB, sch.......... WAH!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-25T19:35:00.000+08:00

I just found out something new and tt thing is disappointing. I suddenly feel tt in the past i am just wrong. Totally wrong just to think tt way. Y does it have to end up this way w/o me knowing anything. Seriously i want to know how r u even i dun get the story at all?

2007-06-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

Seriously i am getting tired mentally and physically. Sometimes i really hope tt a miracle can really happen. Something i really wanted to say yet i dun think i can say it.

Thought of a mp title thanks to one colleague and i going to try to proposal to my manager on monday. I really think it will be a very very bz week for me next week as i have to hand up my MP proposal and also try to find those sjab item during such a short timeframe.

* I am in my own world dreaming of impossible just at least to c u again*
i want to go back to the past before everything happen.......... :)

2007-06-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

So i have been doing sip for nearly two weeks and i think is ok ba just tt everyday feel like a repeated day for me. I seriously headache over my MP ok. It is very hard for me to think of something to do lor and even i thought of one idea. I either scared it is too easy or too difficult to achieve tt kind of work. Y do Mark tan have to say tt if u want me to give u a MP title= highest C grade while other ppl get to do their MP based on the lecturer idea on the MP. Just so unfair.

Been doing SIP and just have to push myself to do it. I dunno is it cos of SIP or wat but i just want to do something which i dun think it will work out. Hais.........
Am i just holding on just to move forward, i dunno just want to give myself a ray of hope or just lying to myself.

2007-06-17T02:41:00.000+08:00

Finally finish my first week of sip. Really, seriously it can end faster. I think i got Ponophobia which means fear of work. I feel stress during work and when i reach home, i can't really relax cos i am afraid i over relax and fear work more. Hais.......... Really jealous of those ppl having their sip so enjoyable by playing laptop and slacking in msn and some even say that they have too much free time. SAD SAD SAD.

Why Mr tang must put me in this company when derrick told me tt the director of his research company say tt is ok to work in lab for a colourblind person. Put me there alone somemore. It this bad luck or wat cos since i was bored i seriously believe my luck is just NOT there.

Bought a new bag for myself. Very long nv buy bag and i think i need a bag to go out and also for work. Chose a blue colour bag sia. I think is pretty cool, i mean the design.

Tml i still have to go for sjab meeting which i dun think i will go often cos i am bz with my sms and also troubled over my own things. And also morning going to cycle for a bit. I seriously need some exercises..... I hope i can really grow up and be stronger during my sip. Feeling damm weak and just can't help it.. :'(

*Do i really want to gamble it, a one time stake to lost it all or to win*
Confused

2007-05-31T01:44:00.000+08:00

Been bored lately. Playing DS, attend theory lesson for diving if not sleep at home. Seriously i hope my sip can start soon so i know the taste of it. Start early, end early right. But 4 months of Sip. Hais seriously it feel very very very long compare to the 6 weeks in CPTC.

I hope i will find out wat i can work next time when i pass out of tp during sip. Does colourblind really affect so much, i really dunno.............. Headache and stress.......

2007-05-25T02:23:00.000+08:00

Seriously i am very very pissed off. I just dunno y i am so so so fucking UNLUCKY ok. So wat tt i am colourblind. This cannot do, tt cannot do still have to spend even more $$ on doctor i c wat colour am i blind too. Wat the hell, have i not seen enough doctors and also y the sch even tell me tt colourblind ppl can enter this damm course at the first place if it really affect so much of my working life. When i ask u the qns u tell me u dunno and cannot answer my qns. I bet u r lying so tt i can enter this damm course so u can earn my sch fee. Who at the first place can understand me? I am in this course for 2years+ ok, so wat now, after graduate i get another diploma or try to go oversea get a degree of some other shit. I just dunno wat to do ok. I dunno colourblind really is such troublesome. Ya ya colourblind is not a illness but for me it is a burder ok. Y do i have such problem and y my life seems so unlucky. Post to one company just to do paperwork cos i am colourblind is not enough. Where is it, jurong island. Might as well ask me stay there!!!!!!!

Hais seriously i dunno wat to do next

2007-05-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

Finally the 3 days shift work has ended. Most of the time spend was slacking anyway. The night shift really make my bioclock go nuts until i also dunno which day am i in.

Shift work was quite fun lar as we can chit chat and also play my DS. Staying in the board room was also fun. Just by changing a few value on the screen, u really can affect the plant. It was fun. With those two trainer around, it really make the night able to go faster away. However two unfortunate stuff happen. First night was grace breaking the camera and then alex broke the glass for the pump side. Hais...... Hangout with the class 'patrolling' around is really fun. Heeeeeeeheeee. The final term test is coming yet i forgot those valve names and pump in the DCS. I guess i am screw up sia.

My handphone was send to repair and someone is early morning call me say tt the motherboard is spolit and we do not have the sparepart so u might need to wait for 1 to 2 weeks. Then the second morning, 'hi sir, ur handphone is ready for collection'
I was like huh..... Seriously i dunno wat r they doing lor. Anyway i got a new handphone, they just replace the whole thing. Cool.........

2007-05-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

Yeah got a 3 days break before shift work starts. Need to study and as the final term test is coming. Dun feel like studying and also play DS until so bored sia. Training was quite fun lar. I dun really like fire water day lar cos the water is like so dirty and make us the whole body wet. It was like 1 s and, u r completely wet. The water was at 14 bars so if u get hit by the water jet, you will KO sia. But the fun part was tt u kept seeing rainbow. Haha. The rainbow is like just in front of u. Damm cool. Other days was tiring. Climb up and down is really tiring.

* i just feel damm bored, just thought of this, feeling like a dead soul in the living body* get wat i means.........

wat appear in front of you is not wat you really see.......

2007-04-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Mid term test so fast coming already. So tired lor. Everyday come home so late and go out so early for the training. Where got time to study for the test and like so much things to rememeber lor. HAIS HAIS HAIS........

Practical was fun. Doing tank gauging, spray firewater,take photo, c how to take out the pig. Haha, very interesting.

Weekend was boring. Wanted to go out to enjoy a bit yet everyone was bz. Was sick anyway yet can't have a gd rest cos of those tutorial. I really hope there is a break soon.

Still need to sell those sjab shirt. Someone help me pls.

2007-04-16T23:40:00.000+08:00

Finally is the practical to climb up the column. So fun lor to climb up a 10 storey high column. When u r on top of the column, it feel like the column is shaking. It might feel a bit scary but after a while it feel quite fun. When i was on top of the column, really feel like jumping down, if i can fly tt is. The practial was fun.

Sjab stuff is boring. Attended the meeting and is like so few ppl always come. Even those who come r always those same ppl. BTW i am not rich. I pay for those shirt just for everybody convenient only. Seriously i dun want the "SAFRAY" uniform dunno how to spell, cos it seems tt everyone measurement is wrong and need to change or something like tt. IT IS LIKE SO DAMM TROUBLESOME. I still have to call up those ppl to ask them buy the shirt. Tell u wat. Next time no more shirt pls...... So much trouble sia. Doing something to help end up things becoming more and more troublesome. Still need to type a essay about the event. HEADACHE!!!!! STILL NEED TO STUDY FOR AFA. HAIS.........

WAT WRONG WITH ME? ANS: DUNNO
* i just feel damm weird, a weird feeling, something must be wrong but i dunno wat*

2007-04-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

So dead tired from CPTC. Everyday need to travel so damm far to tt place and i already c stars during the first weeks. Practial still have to do line tracing which really took a lot of time for such a small plant. I hope next time i dun get such placement for sip or next time when i go out to work. Wonder how their pay like sia, it feel damm compicated. No dinner provided somemore and we have to get cup noodles. Stupid canteen. If is even a canteen. Close at 4pm and ur food is terrible sia. Someone even told us it improve a lot, so before it improve is it eat liao will vomit, i wonder. Hope this training end quickly and also i hope to get two night shift.

2007-04-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

HAHA finally pass my driving test liao yet still not confident enough to go out to drive as i do not know the road gd enough.

Jurong island training is really tiring sia. Now still need to go from 12 to 8pm. Make me dun feel like working in this kind of field next time. Still need to draw tt stupid diagram. So many things in it, how to remember and draw it out. Our marks depend on it. Hais........ hard to understand.

Busy and stress. Just start of sch term and i already got so tired. I want to go out during weekend pls.........

2007-04-08T02:09:00.000+08:00

So bored being at home. Cycling to pasir ris beach from my home. Haha cycle until it is dark then return home could be so dangerous. Can't c anything and incoming biycle and also crash. Ps2 also play till i damm bored liao. This holiday going to end, it is going to end. Shld i be happy or sad as my holiday is so damm short yet i dunno wat i want to do in this holiday. Even in holiday still feeling so stress. I hope to pass my driving test so i won't be so stress. Keep telling myself not to worry yet i still worry about my test. Sch going to reopen and i am both happy and sad about it.

I worry too much on everything

* i am glad tt u r back *

2007-04-04T03:03:00.000+08:00

Stupid chocobo racing. Playing the same game for hours still cannot beat the timing. Hais.......
Proud to say tt i cycling from bedok to sentosa on sat. Haha, really it was damm tiring. I want to have my own bicycle rather than i borrow from my neighbour. Cos i find it not really suitable for me. But i dun really cycle much so how to ask my mom to buy a biciyle for me.

Monday is my driving test already. Sian lor now already nervous, dunno tt day how lor. Wish i can pass in my first attempt. Hais....

CPTC training also starting soon. Everyday 8hrs and + transportation time = 11 to 12 hrs maybe. :( Hope i get to go off early for my driving test on monday.

*Life is Boring*

2007-03-23T03:11:00.000+08:00

My 3rd last driving lesson before my test finish. I got confused with both of my parking. Haha i guess i need to try to remember them. Beside tt i am only afraid of outside driving if not i think can pass ba. Hope can pass my driving in my first attempt. Who doesn't right?

This holiday going to end in two weeks and i am clueless not to get pass it happily. This bleach anime was pretty cool. I quite like this week episode. Haha. Hope tsubasa chronicle faster come out. It is coming out in april.

2007-03-22T02:44:00.000+08:00

finally did some exercise and found out tt i really need to exercise more often. Really bad now. Dunno is it lucky or unlucky to exercise and c zack siew in sch. Kena ask about the marks for pslp. Guess i am really stupid to pay $15.75 for nothing sia. But not happy with the result with pslp only. The rest i guess is ok ba. Hais. Going sip soon and i dunno am i rdy for it. Another bored and stupid day pass again.

2007-03-20T00:02:00.000+08:00

Trying to revive my blog. Exams r over and treasure hunt is over so i am more free lately and remember tt i have a blog. Thought of something sad today but anyway i trying to rest as much as possible as my cptc training is starting soon.

"hope tt u r ok my friend"

Feeling tt i have a lot of friends tt appear to be friends with u yet not friends with u. Really hate this type of ppl yet can't do anything about it. Dunno wat wrong with me, always trying hard to do things yet in return i get nothing back and also y bother do things for others when they dun appeciate and also try to hurt u more. Maybe they just dun realise it but it just feel tt those ppl r just smiling at u and appear to be friends with u. Is it life and if life is so terrible, won't it be better to have fewer more ppl in the world and i believe this world would have less conflict and less war.

2007-02-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

I seriously dun enjoy sch at all. Going to sch seems like making me get a heart attack sooner or later. Ppl can only make me mad and it seems that i have no right to argue with anyone of them. I dunno y, they can have the right to make other ppl not happy but i cannot. Seriously, i really start to cannot stand more of my classmate. Borrow things from me so damm fast but i ask them for things, all say dun have lor. Then got quiz tips also dun want say, tell others but not me. But can i do, shut my damm mouth lor. Act like i dunno anything lor. Maybe is exam period and everyone is so stress or i am just over sensitive. I dun find jokes funny or i plan to make any jokes. Cos my life is not funny, and my mood is bad enough for now.

2007-01-31T02:15:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO BE FROZEN AND BE KEPT IN DEEP IN SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

I do know how to face you, i feel so dead in and out. i dun want to face my friends.
It make me feel that y do i always made a extra efforts and in the end result in a scolding. I hate people, i hate humans, i hate myself. LOST LOST LOST........... Carrying other people burder, so heavy and dragging it.

2006-11-23T01:42:00.000+08:00

So bz with the upcoming nco camp for sjab and i think ppl sending me email and details are so slow and i also dunno wat to begin with. Seems like my logistics is being done by only me. Sometimes i wonder am i being happy to be busy working and keeping myself bz. Sometimes yet i want to forget myself but i dun want to completely forget myself too.

I bought ps2 already when ps3 is out. I guess i dun have $$ to buy ps3 and when the price drop i think i would be in NS liao. After NS then i guess i would buy it. Hoping i can win 4D so tt i can buy a laptop. Really hoping to have a personal computer tt can follow me whenever i go. I just need somethings to pei wo go whereever i go. Hope somedays i would find tt object tt represent me.

I saw li ting and christina at design canteen. What feeling i have? I dunno do i regret to stop being friends with them. But if time could time can turn back, i guess i will still do the same thing. It is something tt i want to forget. It is wonderful to be friends with them yet still i want to forget them. I think in this world it is better to assume things then to ask the truth. I mean assume things for the better, of cos. Yet, u will get upset when u assume things for too long. I dun want to think so much liao, i just want to be happy. Be myself, living in the light and darkness. In both i must be happy cos being happy and sad is wonderful feeling. The feeling tt i dun enjoy most is stress.

Sometimes i hate the feeling of love. Do i understand it? I dun want to understand it. Cos everytime i will end up forgetting tt feeling.

So many ppl ask me to quit sjab. Shld i quit or not. Or am i using it to make myself more bz, or i dun dare to quit it. My heart ask me to stay on yet my mind ask me to leave it. Shld i follow my heart or mind. Hope to find the answer one day. I still yet to find myself. Can i find myself alone, i wonder? The feeling tt i seeking for, finding myself in this wide world. I still not myself yet, i want to find my soul.

2006-10-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

Today went out with shi xiang and leo to sim lim. Leo wanted to DIY a com himself so i got help from shi xiang. Only go c c nv buy yet. Then go city hall area walk walk cos i dun feel like going home. Bought two story bks haha so i won't get bored so easily. Looking to the movie on fri. Yet hate to ask whether they going to watch or not. Dunno r they cannot made up their mind or wat lor. Just reply me lar then i can book the ticket more easily. If they fly a aeroplane on me, make sure they pay sia. Pay me the $$ i mean. Hope tp timetable faster come out, then i can book my driving lesson. Btw thanks for shi xiang and leo for talking to me when i am bored yesterday. Haha :)

2006-10-13T00:38:00.000+08:00

YEAH i pass my basic theory on my first try. So happy lor. Yet so sad cos $300 is spend on the practical and advance theory too. So next 2 month later is my advance theory. Hope TP timetable come out soon lor. Then i can book my practical driving lesson quick. I hope to finish and pass everything by next year MAY. Hope i can do it ba.....

I just left one week + of my holidays. Hope it end and dun end soon. Haha. Life is just boring and dun really look forward to sch reopen yet i am bored so also hope sch reopen soon. Irony feeling....

2006-10-09T03:12:00.000+08:00

Does it really mean tt if u move back one step, the world would be a much better place. Does it mean u always have to move back one step then to make others happy instead of u when u have the right to move forward. Singapore is really becoming much of a unhappy place to live in cos not much ppl r moving back and too much ppl r moving forward. I mean "inconsideration".

Went for sjab meeting today. As usual it is boring and i have not much say in it. Just want to slack my way through to find it to kill time ba. Since there r so much time before the day i die haha. Just spend it the way i want lor. Just find tt i can change my mood pretty quick and easy and i know the reason for it. I been living my life more of unhappiness and yet want to enjoy the happiness i got in my life for a bit longer when it occur but during tt enjoyment i forget everything before the pain come back and I will just rmb everything all over again.

Next event happening this week shld be my basic driving test and my exercise ba. Two more week till sch reopen yet i dun really care wheather it sch holiday and sch start. It look all the same to me. I just want to grow up and get to understand more things. The world is such a dull place, how can ppl live in it. Or it just singapore? I heard Singapore is one of the most unhappy place to live in. Cos we move forward too much, yet not much fun staff or relaxing place in Singapore and everything here is $$. Is this the price for moving too fast in our lifestyle? I just dun understand anymore. I want to live in forest where it is so quiet and peaceful. Just a dream...... Live is such a pain yet it can but fun just in my dream.....

2006-10-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

I just love sleeping as it waste all the time in the day away. When life is so bored, it is so great just to spend time by sleeping it off. Finally tml i am going out. Sick of being at home playing dota at day around. Reading manga and watching tv. Like a repeat cycle of life everyday. Tt is so no life. I shld go do some sports yet can't wake up early. Everyday wake up at 2pm+ or later and after tt cos boring and go back to sleep at 5 pm. Yet i can stay awake in the night as long as i want. I think i need to really sleep eariler.

Wat derrick said in the tagboard is just so wrong. Humans r not a being tt the way u want to treat the person is how u want to get treated. It is not as simple as ABC. How nice treating a person is also not true as a person might be acting to be nice to gain something else, if nothing benefit someone, a person might not even want to be friends with him/her. Treating others is how u want to get treated is not true in this unfair world. I also realise y this world is so unfair. If it is fair, nothing will advance and move forward in life. If life is fair, life will also be boring, tt y this world is make not to be fair in the first place. Btw it is not a crisis, it is a time for me to realise how stupid i am in the past to believe ppl who aren't worth me believing again and again.

*Dun think i will want to go online for the moment, no point going online when it is the same as appearing offline. *

2006-10-04T03:56:00.000+08:00

I believe once a person die, it will become just nothing, no heaven nor hell. The reason ppl believe in good and bad, heaven and hell is because they want to find a reason for ppl to do gd stuff and a lack of reason for ppl to do bad things. For eg if a bad person just do bad things and go to hell, ppl believe tt will make them feel sort of happier rather then believing someone will just disappear to thin air when he/she die. Dun hope to die becos u only have one chance to stay alive and die once. Just finish ur life and bye bye u go. Anyway u going to die one day. Living long is also not a gd things and this make it no purpose in living is wat i feeling now.

For me to realise tt this world is not as simple as i thought so and friendship is such a weak bonding. Ppl might act to be ur friend and also might be friend just to take advantage of u. Effort u put into a friendship is also often wasted. And ppl just tell me tt "This is life" Really not happy just to hear and accept tt it is part of life. I just feel tt human r just too weak for anything. Rather call urself close friend can change the word to family might be a better choice. Friends do make u believe them over and over again just to cheat u and yet ppl say y do they have reason to do tt becos one they do not realise wat r they doing, two they r cheating and acting, third they just can't be bother yet dun want to tell u up front tt they dun like u and rather we friend and not enemies with u cos having a friend is better than a enemies. I really want to go study human better, just to say if such things as satan exist, it must be a human for being the most evilest things on earth tt polluted and destroy their own kind and even the planet they are living in.

Hais, i think i shld be name as a sadist of the world, who can show me goodness in this world and i can feel tt it is good. I think tt y i feel so bored cos nothing much in this world exist for me to feel happy. Love, friendship, family and money r becoming things tt i dun believe in. I dun want to fall in love again. I dun trust my friend as easily as before. I dun communicate well with my family nor they know me well, and money is nv enough for anyone.

It is a fact for me being a more serious sadist as i think more at night. I think in fact at night it is a different me.

2006-10-03T01:08:00.000+08:00

keep forgoting to blog sia. Now reading a manga call death note. Quite nice but read long will get tired one. Also went to hospital to check my colour blindness and whether i am fit to drive or not. It is so troublesome. I hate my colourblindness. It is really like a handicapped to me.

Staying at home is really a real boreness to me and i dun have mood to work liao. And my $$ is using too fast. Hais..... WEnt ice skating on last wed and my legs hurts about 3 days. Haha it was a wonderful day, i just want to go out. This holiday is really boring sia. For once i hope sch faster reopen.

I think i begin to not trust my friends more and more. Dun think they also trust me too. Just got this feeling. Is it the world such a place and if it is y do ppl live in here. Or r they even ppl, sometimes i just dun want to be a human at all. I think friend is a strong word. Maybe the meaning of friend in the dictionary does not fit me and them ba. No wonder got this saying call trust no one but urself. True to some extend ba.

2006-09-21T01:59:00.000+08:00

Wat a boring day. Woke up early, went to the agency to find a job. I send my particular, hope i can get the job they say. Work for one month and is mon to fri. I like it. Hope not like tt stupid company i work before. Haha. After tt i went home, i thought the badminton session was at 2pm cos kelvin sms tt timeslot wat. Then they change the timeslot to 1pm so i had to rush down. Anyway it seems so fast the time. Play like a while end game liao. Haha. I really need to exercise more. Then after tt went to singpost. Damm it lor, dun have the suitable box for me. Hope u like the present. Haha!!!! End up the box really really big. Seriously it look weird. Haha. Then went home sleep. Then more slacking lor. Seriously is bored, w/o dotaing. Haha..... And i thought this week no bleach, it is the next week which dun have, i so blur sia. I read almost finish the manga. Not bad sia. Addicated but come out so slow...... No wonder need filler.

2006-09-19T02:11:00.000+08:00

So communication skills is impt. Hais....... Seriously i rather talk on the phone than on msn lor if i am given a choice. I want to control my temper and anger lei. Tried running, failed. Hmmm dunno wat can i do lei. And i think i use a method too much which is complainning. Wat shld i do, before i go nuts. Sleeping also dun really seems to solve the prob too. Any ideas can pls tell me. Haha thanks a lot....

So i went out almost the whole day. Went sim lim buy harddisc and earphone. Finally!!!!!!! Then go bugis watch movie....... The host....... So so lar, i find the movie boring but some part is funny. Beside i dun think there are much gd movie out lately. Hope spiderman3 faster come out. I having a headache. Whether to go work or not. My mom found a agency then ask me consider. C how lor..... I really want to rest a bit longer. Y the holiday can't be longer. Haha...... Mission Impossible.

I guess some things i must do it, whether ppl around me seeing me do tt r upset of it or not and say i stubbon cos somethings r meant to do it by u to feel a relieved and to others might c it as a task tt need not be done by u.

2006-09-12T03:02:00.000+08:00

So how am I. Normally y do ppl say they r fine when they r not. Weird. So i lost my job, my friend, my health, my wallet. Wat more can i lost man. I so sick of losing so much things in just 2 days. Something more weird, i guess tt our friendship will end up like tt one day. Tt y i wanted to change the future yet u just dun understand my words in any sense. I dropped too much clue but u just can't get it. I guess u r not even my friend at the first place. I ignore other ppl advise cos of u, ppl say tt u r such a person yet i ignore them. I even fight with them over this issue. I guess it is not worth it. U r not my friend even to begin with.

MY job. So wat u pay me $8 a hr. So wat u r my mom friend. U keep forcing me to do stuff tt i dun want esp i told u i hate business. Y so u have to keep forcing me until midnight. Force and force until u gave up on me. Give me two choice. To leave or stay behide to ask my goal in life. I sort of feeling u r cheating off $$ from those ppl from other country. 40 to 60 years old. Sorry i just stubbon enough to not believe ur bullshit. Fine u fired me. I dun want to work there anyway. So u can't force me right so u fired me. Cool.

So wat, noone is free. I MEAN NO ONE IS FREE AND I MEAN IT. I wasted so much sms and phonecall, asking ppl to go out with me when i am most down. All say bz, work, bah bah bah......... Dun want go out say lar. Yeah i go out alone. I lost my wallet...... SO wat. Happy right. I am so pissed off.

So how my health. Going for a mental breakdown. Doctor say my blood pressure a bit high however he measure for a second time, he say is ok. I have breathing problem and unable to control my stressness. Oh well. He might as well declare tt i am dead.

So how my life. Yeah i feel so happy and nv been so happy before in my life. I am nv tired. So i will stand alone again. Since i have this feeling so often. Dun come and crap with me.

2006-09-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

Today was my first day of job. It was fine. Binding stuff and still more other stuff to do. I think i became an office boy liao lor. Nvm, work one month then i can enjoy my life. Haha. Hope the month really come to an end.

I getting sick. Really sick i guess. I want to c a doctor.......

2006-09-04T01:39:00.000+08:00

Still feel a bit lost and not tired at all no wonder wat condition i am. Hais.... I dun want to feel tired, this feeling is great but at wat price........ Tml I will be working but c so many of my friends looking for jobs, i feel kind of sad also. Hope they can find the jobs they want soon..... So today went for sjab agi. Still got the same old feeling. I hate to go for SJAB event. It is bo liao, but still must go dunno for wat reason. Pls give me a reason to stay on. Btw bedok green won a award. I think those from bgss are so happy and agree with it. WON THE TOP SECOND MOST UNCOOL UNIFORM!! I STRAITS TIME. I want to find the articles about it. Hope is true.

Time heal and change stuff but somethings nv change no matter how long time passes. Therefore time can hurt u or heal u........ No matter wat, treasure time well.......

2006-09-01T01:06:00.000+08:00

History repeat and repeat itself. So wat, damm it with life. I tried to change, i seriously did yet history keep repeating itself. I not going to try anymore, NO NO NOMORE. No more encourging words from myself to keep myself walking. No more of pleasing ppl. No more being nice to ppl so everyone is happy. I so long nv taste the feel of happiness. Must ppl happiness be built up on other ppl sorrow. I hate to rmb stuff, i hate to say stuff to ppl yet if i dun say, nothing will change, i am impatient, so y do after i say things. No one cont to accept me or change instead get more piss off. Weird life

Went to kbox to sing, nv go really well cos of me. Is my fault? Sorry? I keep thinking for ppl do ppl think for me?

Dun need ask i also know the answer!!!

DAMM WITH THIS WORLD
DAMM WITH ALL THE PPL
DAMM LIFE
IT IS JUST SO DAMM!!!

NEXT AIM IN LIFE: BE RESTLESS!!! BE STRONG!!!

DUN FALL DOWN COS OF STUPID PPL!!!! LASTLY TO CREATE THE 2nd MIRACLE

2006-08-28T04:10:00.000+08:00

I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
cos you are the one

I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child that lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
since you've gone away

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
and I miss you everyday
yeah

and I'm never gonna leave your side
and I'm never gonna leave your side again
still holding on girl
I won't let you go
cos when I'm lying in your arms
I know I'm home

They tell me that a man can lose his mind
Living in the pain
The call in times gone by
The crying in the rain
You know I've wasted half the time
And I'm on my knees again
'till you come to me
yeah

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
and I miss you everyday
yeah

and I'm never gonna leave your side
and I'm never gonna leave your side again
still holding on girl
I won't let you go
I lay my head against your heart
I know I'm home
I know I'm home
I know I'm home

and I'm never gonna leave your side
and I'm never gonna leave your side again
still holding on girl
I won't let you go
cos when I'm lying in your arms
I know I'm home

I want to be stronger, stronger and stronger.........

2006-08-27T02:47:00.000+08:00

First blog this month. So my birthday is over. Haha. Nothing worth to celebrate. Only tt i can offically buy 4D, alcohol drinks and also learn drive which i hope can i learn cos i am colour blind. Hais i hate this colour blind, damp my mood everytime i mention it.

It is exam period. I finish 3 papers already and so not in the mood of studying. Haha i am always not in the mood anyway. Hope i this sem can do much better than my pervious sem. 2 more papers to go. Hope i can last by then. After tt it is working. Hope i dun get bored and get to work for one month. Haha. My mom found me a job but i dunno exactly do wat sia. So how my life, Dota and dota lor. Just tt always no one want to dota. Crap.

I beginning to lose believe in friendship. Just dun believe in it anymore. Friendship bond feel so easily being broken. They will lie to u, dun think of u, forget u. It is so scary tt this is even call friend and talk to u in sch with a nice looking face, smiling at u. Friends in the past tt talk to u, play with u seems also forgeting u. They dun even want to bother u. Tt y i dun like to make so many friends. They are scared, and might even turn against u. I just want to know more true friends. Hais......... Nothing is more impt to have more true friends...... I am so tired walking walking everyday nearer to the path of death without realising wat the impt of my life...... Life is bored. A fact or opinion?????

2006-07-31T01:59:00.000+08:00

so long nv blog as sch is super bz, seriously very bz with sch. I really want to take a break. I will just blog about yesterday ba. Haha. kena "cheated" by wei lee saying tt there is a cosplay yesterday at cineleisure but he mistaken the date as it was next week. Then after tt we walked from orchand over to font canning over to city hall. It was a long walk but the it was the first time i went to fort canning .Hard to believe right. The air and temp was great there. After going to city hall, went to suntec, then saw zi xiang there. Very surprize yet tt not the end, i saw xiaoping, diao, then wei lee also saw quite a lot of his friends. SINGAPORE IS SO DAMM SMALL right. Haha. Walk a lot today, at least i enjoy myself. Dun feel like going home to face more hw and project. Thinking of tt i lost my thumbdrive. WTH ok.

Thinking space
Do miracles happens twice? i wonder? Y do ppl are so selfish, i just dun understand at all. Y all is this happen? I need a break, i dun need friends who act in front of u and yet think of other things. Wat wrong with this world man?

2006-07-11T02:49:00.000+08:00

Just a fact about myself. I just hate my own birthday. Dun worry it haven't come. The good thing about birthday is i reach the age limit to buy toto and 4D and buying alcohol drinks and learn driving. Other then those i c no gd point to ur birthday. Birthday present is a waste of $$ and i rather ppl give me $$ like my parents. Birthday totally sux. DUN WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON TT DAY COS I WON"T BE HAPPY COS I HATE THE DAY ON THE CALENDER EVERY YEAR IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! Bring back bad memories too.

2006-07-11T02:36:00.000+08:00

Again been so long after i blog. Super bz with the project and hw coming up. Lets c. I have OSH, ET,UO,ICP project and only like OSH going to be done soon. Dunno how am i going to die. Really need a break and finish those project fast. But how? Still got so much tutorial and lecture to attend. I hate year 2-1 sia. So super bz.

Yet this made me thought of other things. Living in such a bz environment, does ppl really forgot who they are. Friendship on the test. Things seems so different from the past. More harsh truth and ppl char can be seen. It is so scary to realise tt. True friends are hard to come ba now i guess. Dun lose ur true friend watever wat happen. This is the quality of friendship and not quatity of the friends. i do not like to know a lot of ppl. Make me bz and less time for other things. TT me, i dun really like to mix around. Haha. Life seems so much more different when i think of the past. During secondary school, i guess life is much better yet y do ppl realise this after they miss that and y do happy moment last so short and painful moment last so long. Y can't the rule of life change when ppl can control their fate. I hate fate and destiny. It make no point of living when life around u is arrange. I rather believe in luck and cos change of event, or any small decision you do, might end up something different. Much better than when ppl say leave it to fate and destiny. Won't be fate and destiny be so bz when you do not want to do anything about it and complain y this and tt happen to you!!! Yet most of the time is i am too lazy to bother to bother things happen. If i bother about everything and think too much won't i be bz.

Wah a long post. Just a reflection of life. Happy life is not impt yet realise urself is more impt. Be happy, sad, or watever is life. Being happy all the time and not realising other emotion is just boring and also being happy all the time won't make u want to make others feel happy and also you won't want to fight for happiness. Sound weird yet if u all read this go think about it.

2006-07-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

doing the et tutorial took so much time. Haha. Sleep almost the whole day today. Is sunday wat can i do except sleeping. Haha. Finding the information for OSH took so long. Haiz i dun want to find liao lar. So troublesome. Haha. Yesterday was syf performance. After the long standing at the stadium i went home straight away but not everyone does tt as they want to watch the performance and i hate crowds. Is irrating to go home with a crowd and waiting endlessly for buses. Better to go home early. Yeah tml sch starts again. BORING!!!

2006-06-30T01:28:00.000+08:00

feeling like to read another bk. Of cos must be interesting if not i will feel a stupid effort reading it. Haha. Today such a long day lor. Adventure club meeting ended at 9+pm. So tired and hungry. Tml also have et lab. Haiz so late. Going to sleep early as tml going out for movie and also sat got syf. Blog again tml

2006-06-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

Sch has just reopen. Just finish reading two bks by dan brown. Quite well written. I also just got my result. A bit disappointed by some of the papers but some i think is ok. Dun want to compare with other ppl. This week seems so long. Wanted to go out and have a gd rest. SYF and adventure club training and also no mood to listen to class. Boring sia. At least i am happy with my law marks. Need to find new hope, new life, and happiness. Going to sleep early tonight, a long day tml.

Wondering y my memories had been so messy, can't control my thoughts and memories. Different memories kept replaying and make no sense. This is tiring me down and i wonder y.

2006-06-22T00:45:00.000+08:00

Tagboard has been down for so many days. I think i will change my layout either tonight or tml ba. I dun really like my layout now. Haha. This week feel like schooling week. Mon- Trip to jurong island, Tues- SFY, Wed - Project, Thur- Project, Fri- SFY again. I guess i am free week end. However it is so boring with my life. I want to pick up something new yet i got no motivation at all. Feel so tired with my life. I guess everyone is the same but i really want a rest now. I really tired with ppl and still ppl. Life is so tiring so y bother living. Feeling each day passing so quickly everyday. Haiz......... I am only feeling disappointment and more disappointment. Boring life.

2006-06-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

Blogspot like having prob with me yesterday night, can't log in at all. Tt is so boring when i have the mood to blog.

Finally exam are over except one more paper tml. My cds paper, LAW!!! Haven't study but i will study later but like so boring. After my paper, dunno wat can i do at home. I feel so bored. Project and field trip in my holiday. Wat kind of holiday is this man? Gd luck for ppl having their exam tml.

I went to play pool today. A very stupid game. Even my friends agree with me. I lost all my 3 matches cos of the black ball. They even record a video out of tt small part. Either the ball went in the wrong hole or trap at one corner and i hit it. No luck i guess.

Yy dunno y u like becoming more and more bad temper, I hope ur temper can get better cos i really dun like tt temper of urs. Hope u get better.

Yeah i not going to bear much with other ppl, controling my temper make me realise is useless, ppl will take me for grantly and step me over my head even more. So y bother. Just blow up!!! fuck wat other ppl think. YEah!!!

TO whom u may know who u r: I hate proud ppl, i hate ppl to tell other ppl to do things. i can't start u for flirting to teachers like tt. U think u can be very gd in all area, sorry i dun want even to look at such ppl like u. THis is my char and i can't stand the likes of u. Ur behavior digust me futher only

2006-05-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a while since i blog liao. Have been bz with project and quizes last week.

BLog about happy things first

Met yi yun at bugis last fri to go out. Has been a long time since ever we met. After tt she wanted to go to the beach and so i also went. Go there eat dinner. Have a long and nice chat with her just tt i too tired tt day so can't really concentrate on tt day. If i nv pay attention or wat, so sorry. Haha

Blog things tt r unhappy

Feeling to hate sch cos of ppl, i dun hate quiz just tt it make me more and more tired only.
Sjab also more things to do and y the list given to me is like so so wrong. Dun treat me seriously is it. PPl tell me to control my temper just for ppl to take advantages is it. Oh sorry no more!! I rather not to change in tt sense even i know it is not gd.

2006-05-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

Getting more and more short temper in sch lor. Hais need to control yet my temper is always tt bad if it get bad. Haha. Tiring day and i dunno y must we waste our time to go the japanese culture club when we already sign up for it. Hais....... Then the queue for signing up on the net is so long lor. I guess tp too many ppl scared they forgot to sign up when they are at home. Tml still have the SYF training. Another event tt would waste more of my time. So tired and sick. Went to cut my hair today. The process is so painful lor. Dunno r they plucking my hair or cutting my hair. Maybe shld find another hair salon liao ba to cut my hair. Next week so many test and ICP looks so confusing. I need to read more about it. LOTS OF THINGS TO DO= SO LITTLE TIME!!!

2006-05-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

Wahhh i ammmm so tired lor. Seems like this few days all like tt so tired sia. Went to yishun lor. Friend com want to add harddisc but seems like the harddisc got prob. Wah liao y like tt. Sian ok, so troublesome things y happen to me..... Then next week all the subject got test and i am so bz during the weekend. I just i have to study harder and do finish all my hw during the break i have tml. Going to sleep early. Dunno is it early to u all but kind of weird to sleep now. So many movie to catch and so little time to sleep and rest. Can i enjoy myself after all this stuff. I want to enjoy myself yet when i am out i still dun enjoy myself fully. Dunno wat can really cheer me up. Maybe i need to gd holiday ba. Haha. When i want to be bz, i am free. I want to be free, i am bz. This is life ba. No pt complain cos this happen to everyone, depends on ur point of view. Yeah!!!!!

Wonder r u still my friend???????? I really want to ask u tt??? HAIS......... So quiet i think i know wat it means only

2006-05-14T02:17:00.000+08:00

Today was a long day. Went to sim lim to buy a ram for myself and some other parts for my friend. Then after tt went home sleep a while before going to eat dinner with those relative from thailand. Keep asking me to go thailand. I rather go there shopping then come back singapore lor. Dun ask me go alone. Hais..... they dun understand ppl one. My hw also haven't do finish yet sia still got project and i so bz and tired. Bz life lately. I want to go watch MI3, da vinci code and X men 3. So many movie and i feel tt i am broke. Haha

Tml got sjab meeting. I hope this is the last offical meeting i am going. I am to quit, who can give me moral support. I dun want to be inside anymore, it worth nothing now. Sch work is also getting more and more can i catch up and hold on. Tired tired tired. I dun want to give myself anymore excuses anymore. I just want to be myself and tt reason is gd enough!!!

2006-05-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

Today is a very very very tiring day. I ran 4.7km yesterday and slept at 4am and woke up 9am the next day. Siao lor. Thn got sch and evening for footdrill practise for SYF for tp. Cool right. Finally join something not related to sjab and can do footdrill. Sun got sjab meeting and y u all always so last min tell me. Already plan to go study with friends ok. Wat a cold blanket. I feel tt this sem most of the lecturer very interesting lei. Except for UO. Boring lesson. Today feel so bad, so tired until sleep during my cp lesson. I must pay full attention during the next lesson. Haha.

I want a new harddisc, is it a gd time i buy now???? Shi xiang tell me. MUHAHAHa. I love computer parts, i want to know more about them.

2006-05-08T03:59:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 3.00pm today. Haha i sleep a lot right. Cos i am really tired. Did nothing but watching tv during the afternoon and evening. Drag my tutiorial to 2am + then do. I am so lazy sia. Tml have sch at 9am and also so many project and elearning stuff. This is so tiring sia. Dunno whether can cope or not. I feel like going go to have fun, to play, hang out with friends. I really hope time will be long for all tt cos it seems so short when gd things is happening.

Maple is so crap, r u angry, r u not playing, am i in the wrong, i dunno. Y things will always be like tt one. One word i often use, SIAN!!!!!

2006-05-07T02:44:00.000+08:00

Just change my blog skin i think it is not bad. Went for sjab meeting today and as usual i still dun like sjab. Haha fri at kbox was quite fun. Too bad not much eng songs. I can't read chi very well. Hais. this sem sch so much project and other stuff to do. I guess i will be very bz in the coming weeks. Short entry for today. Dun feel like typing much. Haha until tml then.....

2006-04-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

To Xiao Ping: Haha u keep "forcing" me to blog so ya i am back to blog. Clap for me hahaha. Anyway cheer up ok, dun be sad, we r all behide u :)

Went to watch ice age today, and it was so so so funny. I love the movie sia. I dun mind watching again. Touching, funny, cute, loving. I just love it. Haha. Wat have i been doing. Hmmm just went to Shanghai for GC trip and pls dun hear after i go shanghai and avoid me. Hahaha. It was A VERY FUN trip. Those who nv go i bet they regret it so dun miss it if there is a next time. The next time is still going shanghai. TV 05 I love u guys. It was a fun going out with u all and the coming chalet is coming. But thinking after chalet might not c u guys again make me sad sia. So after i come back, i been mapling day and night until i so tired. i want faster go third job. Since i playing with another friend shld be faster and this is more fun than playing alone. Cos playing alone is damm sian.

Sjab also got upcoming event. Sian sia i seems so bz and they say i am the most free one. True lar but i am also very tired ok. Dunno want to quit or not sia. Now in welfare, it is better lar. Sjab is part of my life and i dun think i want to take it seriously. hais. All i need now is 24hours of sleep. Hehe which is impossible. LOL!!! Till i blog again so cya.

2006-03-21T02:47:00.000+08:00

it seems like a dead blog but i maybe prefer this type of blog. it seems cold like me. haha. Going china so soon already. haha. Hope tt day really come. Today just realise tt sjab meeting was like few weeks ago and no one tell me about this. I know i got the email before but like was during exam period so i did not really notice. WTF really sia. Maybe i shld really not consider about it anymore and quit ba. Life is about choice but y am i tie down to all this stupid things. So many ppl i dislike in sjab. I dun like wat their problem which me cos i dun think tt there is any prob with me. It just make me so so so unhappy with those ppl. One affect another right so wat. They are total crap to my opinion ba. I hate them, they really sux. My life can be much better w/o them. Yet another part of me dun want to leave cos of my years in sjab. It is hard for me to withdraw yet i dun have the heart and energy to cont again. All this is so tiring. I hope everything can end one day sia. Can someone tell me wat to do.

tml going to watch movie and sadly shi xiang cannot come cos he is sick. Sad sia, hope u get well so tt i can freeze u once more. Haha. Life to me seems more like a dream then in the real world. Trying to get out of it, yet is not i dun want but is like i been through all those friendship things and sjab things tt make me dun want to be in the living world, like my soul got lock up like tt. Does anyone know my feeling? Damm

2006-03-06T02:02:00.000+08:00

Almost one month i have not been blogging, bz with exams and also been out to repair my sister computer, esp thanks to shi xiang for helping me with tt. Decided to start blogging after a long rest.

Btw next sat the result for tp student is out.

Been watching bleach for this few week and finally reach episode 70. MUHAHAHA. The anime is nice. Yi yun going to china, i know is late but anyway gd luck. Tml is the start of global citizenship, going sch to study again, sian. Need to pack my room as it is very very messy. Haha. Did nothing much for today except for sleeping a lot and cleaning up my com and updating it. Cleaning my room later.

Have not been talking to those blacklisted ppl, but feeling more and more adapt to it but still seems weird. Ppl not worth to me, i shall try to forget them, memories tt u dun want to rmb will stay with us, just the way how u treat it, u will feel differently. Maybe the way i think about u guys is way off different how u guys think about it tt y all this will end up this way. I regret our friendship with u guys but i dun regret the way i treated u all now. Thing will be over soon, i want to get over with it, yes it will be over soon. A new life begins everyday. Hais not talking about it anymore. Just tt maybe some friends shld not treat them so nice, they not worth ur concern as no matter how much u treat them nicely, u will nv be part of their life.

2006-02-14T02:30:00.000+08:00

CNY has been just been over. Went to lena sim house(my cp house) during the 14th day of CNY. This week is the study week. Must start to study liao. Dun feel like blogging at the moment. Until i find the right moment or right mood or right reason to blog as i am now dunno the reason behind blogging.

Just finish my cds paper last week. It was ok lar.

2006-01-26T03:04:00.000+08:00

Today felt slightly happier. Y, cos i dunno, cos maybe today nv think much. Today went to sch of AM lesson first and the question is damm stupid. I do and do also dunno use wrong table, then teacher scold me tt i nv read the bk carefully. Wat the hell, if i know i won't use the wrong table and waste my time right. Crap. Then after tt was TD and OC lab. Td lab was fast lar. 2 h finish everything, then went canteen to slack and eat something. Then it was OC lab. Our last OC lab already. So fast right. But today the reaction quite fun. Haven't learn yet, but is making dye. The process quite easy too. Tml still have pipc test. Study almost everything but scared they come out funny funny question. I think i dun hope so much. Everytime the more i hope, the harder i fall. Can pass can liao.

2006-01-23T03:15:00.000+08:00

Yeah, another stupid day right. Ya...... All my days are crap anyway. Woke up at 3pm today. Went to do my hw and after tt went out to eat. After tt return home watch some tape and cont my hw. Hais..... dun even know if tml got oc test or not. Study and study yet dun understand anything, just like making myself more confusing. I so feeling like giving up in everything i do. I will not successed also get more bad luck. Nothing in my life can go smoothly one. Life is so crap for me, i just dun understand y must it be like tt. Ppl say when u think life is gd, it will be gd but i dun think tt way. Last time maybe yes but after so long i dun believe in this stupid saying anymore. I am not lucky, i am just plain unlucky in my life. In a sentense, my life today as usual SUXS.

Yet i dun understand y do some ppl have already a lot of things yet not happy over a lot of things. When they have something they still feel tt they lack of something and get angry and sad. This is so so so dammmmm stupid. I dun understand u guys. Weird ppl, or no i am weird. Maybe i shld just die right.

2006-01-22T01:24:00.000+08:00

Today went with guo jun and shi xiang to queentown to buy shoes, clothers. Spend quite a lot time there and bought a shoes. Stay at the queentown shopping centre there for 3.5 h to 4 hours like tt. Standing so long make my legs so tired and somemore in mrt so many ppl on the train. Hais...... hate to go out like this esp on weekend where everywhere is so crowded and i dun understand y govt want ppl to give birth to more baby when s'pore is so crowded already. After tt went back to bedok and eat and chit chat at mac. After tt went home liao.

Went to cut my hair yesterday and the person cut until so short. ARRRR i hope my hair faster grow back ba. Haha. Finally completed ff4 the game liao. Really need to study soon. Next week so many test. Hais...... At least am teacher let us choose the test day ourself. So tt the date will not cramp together. Haha

I feeling i am trap in my past darkness. I can't return to sjab anymore as it seriously bring me a lot of pain and those painful memories. Really want to forget everything in sjab cos it really sux in my pt of view. Not saying ppl shld not join but in my pt of view it is very very sux. "friends" in the past also cause me part of my past darkness. Sometime can't get them off in my mind and wat will i do when i c them in sch. Really hate all this, y u all had to come into my life, y u all must be like tt, i dun understand u all. I hate life, shldn't in life ppl be nice to u, u be nice back to them. But in my life this is not the case. Everytime i feel tt i am a bit lucky today or something like tt, something bad happen to me. I dun want to be happy, love , having hope, i am really afraid to be hurt onces more. I lost my trust in ppl, i lost trust in myself, i hate life............

2006-01-21T03:39:00.000+08:00

Feeling so bored these few days. Playing ff4 on my com. My dad just came back from oversea. And bought quite a few clothers. Want to go out buy some new clothers also cannot. Maybe buying shoes instead. Tp is having open house these few days and the sch seems so messy. It seems a better open house than last year. Also clear OC project and math problem statement 2 is also finishing liao. But means exam is coming too and next week has so many test. Sian.

Tml finally can go out for a walk. Very sian to play game and trap at home. Hais......

2006-01-15T02:31:00.000+08:00

Life is a complete mess. I think i going crazy soon.

2006-01-14T01:49:00.000+08:00

Yy u say setback are used to train u. Yet i feel tt i am like being train to hate ppl and train to not to trust ppl now. Everytime i tried to trust completely on a friend, they tend to betray or hurt me. I am so sick of this ending. Dun u find tt my years in sjab are so damm wasted. Yes i did learn something from there but i think i lost a lot of things in it too. I hate to go back, i dun have a sense of belonging. The only thing i feel is loneness and my hate toward the sch. Everytime i go back i feel so cold and empty esp yesterday when i sit in the room with u guys until the moment i cannot tahan and choose to leave.

Today has a formal presentation. Really not happy with it. First i feel tt i could done better but i did not. Another one is my classmates like want to harm me. Purposely ask a question tt know tt i did not know but want me to answer. Already want to push tt question to my friend but die die want me answer. Idiot sia. Wat did i do wrong. everyone say u got attitude prob. Dun think u so great. Smart so wat, U R A IDIOT. Somemore tml need to do project with u. I am so dammmmm unlucky to be in same grp as u.
Tml still got adverture learning and tutiorial and project to do. Long day. Hais......... i am dying.....

2006-01-13T03:31:00.000+08:00

It has been raining for quite a few days already. Really dun feel like waking up today but still need to go to sch. Sian. Go sch for two hour lesson only yet is feel like so boring. Heard also got a lot of make up lesson for PIPC cos of up coming holidays. Then after tt went to com lab cont to do the CSAS powerpoint presentation. Sian spend so much time in doing this presentation already.

After tt went to bgss for sjab oriention. Very bored. Saw some idiotic faces which i dun want to c. I shld not have go back but i also very long nv go back so i feel tt i must go back today. Had a talk with miss kweh. I made up my mind in quitting sjab liao. Is really no pt staying in this cca tt i really dun like. Even sms one officer. Trying to use a more offical tone to talk to u. Yet u think i am being rude. Officer think they very big ar. Crap!!! Then go into sjab room also nothing to talk to them. Really can't get along with them. Until i cannot tahan, i rather go to derrick house do project. I am so happy tt i leave this sch man. Sjab bring me pain and memories tt i want to forget. Ppl i hate are there, ppl who r nasty r there too. Too little nice ppl for me to stay in the sjab liao. I hate myself for going OTC. Maybe if i nv go OTC all this might not happen.

I feel after all this happen. I feel tt i am like a program. Being used up ppl when they need u and forget about u once they have used u. Program has no feeling and i am beginning to feel tt no feeling in me. I feeling lost and more lost each day just like a program floating in the harddrive dunno where to go. Maybe i will get deleted one day. I really hope tt day will come soon.

Tml have formal presentation. Hope i am well prepare. A bit nervous. Nv give presentation in LT before. Stress. There is always first time :)

2006-01-12T01:37:00.000+08:00

I am feeling more and more tired by the day. Woke up in the morning feeling full of energy but the moment is getting shorter and shorter. I saw something in a website tt says tt ppl keep complain tt life is short but in actual fact is tt life is long enough and for me i feel tt is too long. My mood also getting worse and worse by the day.

Just now watching tv i dunno is it better for ppl to vote out the ppl they dun want instead of voting ppl they want. They might earn more money. Hehe. LOL. Not interested anyway just thought of tt suddenly and feel like posting it.

Life is so bored and i getting so disappointed with life everyday. I hate really to make a very gd friend cos everytime i do tt i feel like kena betray like tt. I hate this. I hate idiotic ppl. I hate to tolerance with other ppl. Hais.....

friday have presentation liao and i am like not so prepared and like so many project to finish. CRAP. y must everything come together. Y must i be so careless and forgot this and tt and make myself seems like a fool. I hate this world, i hate myself.

2006-01-08T04:12:00.000+08:00

Went out to study stat along with derrick and yy. Haha thanks yy for teaching us stat. Really a thanks. Dun say u nv did much lei. At least we learn something. Better than nothing haha.

Then after tt went to watch movie with derrick and his two friend. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit is so nice. So funny and interesting. The dog is so smart. I wish i got a dog like Gromit. Just like a human but can't talk and far more loyal. Haha. Cute too. Thn after tt went to buy a shirt and tie for CSAS presentation the coming friday. Hais. Total waste of $$ in my opinion. Nvm. Then went to play basketball near derrick house. Haha so long nv exercise like today. Run a bit very tired liao. I need to exercise more often i guess. Tml the rest of my poly friends also coming my house to do csas. So tired. I hate all this project. So tired.

Sorry Qiu ling. Forgot to pass u the sjab belt. I will pass to u soon. I am just too forgetful liao. Haha.

Sorry yy for being late today. Haha. Just cannot wake up. SORRY!!!

Life is getting numb. Getting bored. Everything move too slow. I am also finding myself getting very impatience. Hais....... Life is so numb

2006-01-05T02:04:00.000+08:00

Get back two paper result liao. Just can say i not happy with my result. Pass one, fail one. Hais.......... Today also got applied math pbl lesson. Dun understand anything lor. Hope can understand those stat soon. Wanted to do OC one, yet some ppl keep pushing it off. Want to show attitude ar. Idiotic ppl. Thn we also pei derrick go sign up flag day things for like 2h. Went to eat then collect. At first at tp bus stop then move to bedok. Then i also go get my blood test result. B+. Dunno wat the + means but watever. Sian. Today so tired. After tt still go lib to study stat but also dun understand. Then go for my cds lecture. Was planning not to go but also think if get back test paper how. So still went for it. As usual not much ppl go. Sometimes quite pity the lecturer. Haha. Shld be sleeping early today. Been so slack this few days. Hais........

2006-01-03T02:04:00.000+08:00

Sch is going to start tml. So bored. Dun feel like going to sch yet also dun want to slack at home doing nothing. Now clearing those WS and notes. So messy sia. Hais dun even feel like clearing those. Tml sch starting at 9. Hais new term. Going to be bz. Two project haven't do yet. Hais....... Life is boring.

In my world, i have lost all hopes in this depressing world. I hope for nothing now as all hope is lost. I am disappointed. I thought i did not express myself well enough and tried to express myself more clearly yet no one still understand me. I have no more hope in this world even i die the next moment i also won't mind. I have nothing to hold on in this world. I rather create my dream world and be in it forever. Maybe i am just no suitable to be in this world ba........I am just too disappointed in everything in my life ba.

2006-01-02T02:01:00.000+08:00

In a new year, i realise there r a lot so irrating ppl in my life. Do i have to always tolerate with them. Nvm.

New year eve was boring at first thn after tt plan to play badminton. Went to my house the cc there and try to book the court but cannot becos there is a wedding there. They book the whole cc, hais, nvm lar. Need to find another place lor. then after tt we decided to meet at derrick house with kelvin and went to his house cc there to play badminton. But the cc there dun have a badminton court. Nvm. Go bedok stadium play ba. Walk until there, found out the price to rent a court is very ex. Walk to fengshan, hope got cheaper court. The charge is cheaper, haha finally can play badminton there. Rent for 2h and have some exercise and fun. Like so long nv exercise liao. then after tt went 85 market to have dinner. Kelvin and derrick nv go there eat before lor. And me, go there so many times liao. Bring back some happy and unhappy memories for me. Nvm, after tt went home cos kelvin and i have some tv program to watch. Wat a boring new year eve.

New year day, nv do much except sleeping. Like been out everyday in term break so wanted to have a rest lor. Boring........ Hope tml is a better day.

2005-12-29T03:34:00.000+08:00

Being very unhappy lately. been out for fews days liao as term break is very short. Watch two movie lately. King kong and another one dunno how to spell. Haha. I hate orchand liao lor. Go there so many times this week. Almost like everyday go there. So been very tired lately. Went to together with derrick to city harvest on sat. Haha the drama so nice. Haha thanks for inviting me. After watching the show, i realise tt in human there r both angel and satan( devil). Is how u c things and everyone want to be angel yet they realise a devil in them.

How shld i face ppl with the behavior i dun like. Is really irrating? Talk to them some dun even bother or they shoot u back. I am so helpless. I feel so tired in doing anything. Y bother in doing? i wonder?

Thanks for talking with me in maple hearing all the crap i had say. Sorry for blogging such sad things but nothing much in my life is happen happily. Haha. I will try to be happy, but no promises.Haha

2005-12-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

Went to watch movie at suntec and eat steamboat today. Haha watch king kong the movie but i dun find it nice. A bit boring but since the rest want to watch then pei them lor. After tt went to marine south to eat steamboat. The place was fill up with so much smoke. I think i eat too much carbon for the night liao. But not eat such food often. Must take care of my health. Haha. Then after tt tried to walk to marine bay mrt station and chatting on the way. Almost no mrt to reach home lor and after tt i walked home. Hais, wanted to buy a bicycle so dun need to walk so much yet my mom say no $$. Crap sia, how much more can a bicycle cost. Not really tt ex ba. Sian sian sian. Tml still need to go finish so much project, tuesday need to go make password. Hais..... Bz week ahead

2005-12-25T03:34:00.000+08:00

Merry christmas everyone. Went to derrick house today then went expo. His brother got some christian show there so derrick pull me along with me to go. Then eat in bedok inter. After tt after much discussing, went to orchand to meet eleena. Y jt and pt dun want come with us. They prefer in east coast then orchand but i prefer being at home. Haha. Orchand is so crowded with ppl, spraying those foam stuff. Irriting ppl. So dirty and smelly and empty cans is all over the place. Spray here and there cos ppl dun dare to walk here and there. . Tml plan to go watch movie then go eat steamboat at marine south. Term test finally over. Yet much to do in the up coming term break. Hais......

2005-12-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

Dun feel like blogging lately as it was term test week. Csas paper was ok. 5%. feel is crap. OC paper was very hard, i think will fail but hope at least get a pass. Am paper was ok i think. Then pipc paper was also ok but last question was difficult. Now left last paper which is Td. I hate to study TD so bored lor. Td is such a boring subject. Haha. Yeah after tml i can enjoy my one week of hoiliday. YEAHHHHH!!!!!

2005-12-19T02:35:00.000+08:00

Had a CDS test on sat. I thought the paper was difficult but after doing the paper i think is ok lar. Sian then was playing motherload and can't understand y i keep dying but today finally complete tt game liao. Haha finally. So sian. Then tml still have csas paper. Crap paper. Watching slide show and point out the mistake. Haha dunno wat weird paper is this but only 5%. I worry more about other paper and also tml have a meeting with the global citizenship ppl. Hope faster term test finish and i can have a break. Was having a weird dream yet the dream is weird enough to affect my thought and feeling. It affect my life i guess.

Things have to do after my term test.
: finish those stupid project
buy shoes
play a round of badminton
watch movie
going to make passport
going for blood test.

Arrr going to be bz during my holiday. One week to do all this. Haha but i can't wait for my rest. Need to work hard for my term test. I hope got motivation. haha

2005-12-14T01:56:00.000+08:00

Dun feel like blogging for the past few days. Was having TD test today and is damm stupid as the chap they say will be tested is tested however other chap they nv say also went in. Stupid!!! Then next week is term test liao and after tt i can finally have a nice rest. Sat still got exam. Hais.... I feel tired.....

Decided to blog to let out my feeling. I feel damm stupid when my mom bought something for my sister and when i say i want, she say cannot. And my mom bought a stupid thing for my sister when there is a 2 in 1. STUPID PPL!!! I feel tt i more guai than my sister. They got to go oversea and i could not go. I like so long nv go oversea liao. Things r cheaper there than in s'pore. Can't just they give me something. I dun feel like talking to my mom and sister anymore. Like they dun understand me so y bother to talk to them. Waste saliva....

I also feel so angry lately. Y does ppl always dun keep their promise and the ppl who dun keep the promise r my so call dear friends. I decided to list them out as even they feel is impolite, i would say it serve them right. I hate ppl who dun keep their promise. If u can't keep ur promise, dun promise ppl anything. As easy as tt. Friends like so many years like. If u all like to ignore me by all means. Like i care anymore. I am so sick thinking of u all. Dunno also quarral so many times liao. AM I IN A WRONG!! I just feel so angry ok.

Li Zhou: say want to call me today yet nv call. And we like so long nv talk. Actually i dun feel like talking to u. Always ask u for help, nv help. But when u need help i must help. This is crap. I feel tt i am so stupid.

Li Ting: saw u in sch say want to call me. Everything call u say dun bother me i am bz. Since ur so bz. I am bz too. Sorry dun come and disturb me. Is tt wat u think. I had enough of this.

Wai sum: Hmm, now whn i c u. I feeling like ignoring u. Saw u a few times in sch i just act tt i nv c u. Y. TT is so easy. U r the one always say want to call me, in the end nv call. NVM. I call u. BZ BZ BZ. ALWAYS SAME OLD REASON. Say will after me the next day and the next day nv come. Now i really hate u. Since u like ur poly friends so much. Dun even bother to call me in sch ba. Ppl said u is right. U r pamper. I hate pamper kids.

Bevin: Say want to lend $$ from me. I lend. Say want to return me. I call ur hp again and again no reply. And i know u going thailand tt day and u say u will return me before u go. I told u tt i need the $$ right. IF U CAN'T RETURN ME THE $$. DUN BORROW. DUN DO I TRUST A IDIOT LIKE U FOR THE FIRST PLACE. TRICK ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. GO FAR FAR.

Y do i have to face such ppl. Maybe my life is much better without this ppl. Sorry if i offended anyone but i feel tt they r the one offended me. NOT U ALL. So y can't i post THIS. I shall delete this ppl out of my head sooner or later. Y do i treat u all as friend when u all treat me more like a idiot than a friend........

2005-12-08T02:10:00.000+08:00

So crap lor, my house went into blackout. then want to call my parents to tell them. Then all the number they give me cannot link. My mom side was she slept liao. Nvm my dad side. Number u give only can be call in the day time. Crap lar. If something happen to me or wat right. I cannot call both of them. SO crap. Nvm. Went to watch chicken little with maple gang today. Haha so funny the show. Have a lot of other movie things added in. Chicken little is so cute lor. I love him man. Today dun need to go to sch cos we have a bz week, last week. So no lab and lesson is postpone. Finally can have a day of rest. Then after tt kelvin, eleena and me went to derrick house to play game until it was almost 7. then kelvin and i went to buy dinner and went home.