Today went for an interview and is so sian, need to wait for call again. i guess all jobs need to wait for call one. I am really doubting my life and everything in life. Find tt everything is so meaningless and lifeless. Sigh....... then i went to tampines for an interview but i found out to be UNDERAGE like wtf lor. I am 17 years old this year and i AM underage for a job. Then i went to TM and saw li zhou, daryl, benjamin they all. I dunno i am lucky or wat. Then go for a walk with them but i feel damm left out but nvm i think i shld be used to it liao. Then go with jia yuan go kfc to eat lunch. Then i went back home. As usual got nothing to do so sleep till dinner time and then eat and watch tv. Call li ting for a talk for about 1 hour and like keep complaining things to her. No choice i hate my life, i can't think of something tt is meaningful now. I think i need to work badly if not i will rot at home. Now at night got nothing to do and worse still, i can't go into msn and i dunno y. Y am i always so unlucky and i ever feel tt my life is lucky. Enough is really enough. SOON i will be crazy and i meant it. Noone can understand how i feel but my heart getting harden each passing day. Not i dun need go SJAB as i am taking a break but i dunno how to spend the time. As least the instructor there temper is better than me and more normal than me. I also dunno i always like to help in sjab stuff. Dun think the cadets like me, instructor and teachers too. Just dunno y. Want to put my effort in it but i just can't. I really can't understand myself. Still feel tt i am alone and i need to be strong. But how long can i hold on to. I hate night time always feel so helpless and bored but i hate to sleep at night. Y must i end my another day like tt. I nv done anything tt i feel happy or satisfied on the day so y must i end my day like tt. Feel tt i waste so many days but y can't i do something about it cos i am truely tired. I like to do something but do people support me. I like to keep myself bz as this is me but i guess everything change. I need someone to help me or do i really need. I dunno tt i have been too direct after since the start of Dec or do i really need to say out things before people understand me but so i dun think they even understand me??? I have no energy left to do anything. I am depleted of energy. I dun have any energy left except energy to feel tired and bored. This is my life y do it have to be so bored. Really wish to have the taste of fun.............. Maybe i shld cont to dream as i hate everything in reality..........
