Sunday
Decided to use some colours for blogging today. Hmm went for OTC camp briefing today. It was quite a boring 'lecture'. By the end of it, i must apply for leave, do grp flag, meet up night activities grp member and also settle the dinner thing on 5june. I can't multi task like tt right. Ask people to help me settle things but i think sometimes is better to do things alone. I like to get things right, fast and quick so i need not to bother with the same stuff again. In the end, flag not done, still need to plan for night activities thing. If i knew so troublesome, i won't volunteer at tt time. I guess i was dumb. Then when charles sir was like telling me something, i just can't get it right. I guess something i have communication problem or i am far too blur liao. Ha ha i need to bang my head to wall sometimes. I dun share the same frequency as other people. Then i went to zhi da house downstairs to pass him something then go back to eunos. Then guess wat, RAIN!!!!!! Rain so heavily, so i had to call my dad to bring me for lunch. I ate mac for lunch, didn't enjoy it cos i dun feel like eat mac but it was raining so wat choice do i have if i dun want to get wet. Went home after tt. Found out i am so so bz on the month of june. It will be a long month. Sometimes i really want to concentrate on my studies and ignore other stuff. But i want to live my life more meaningful. It will be bored if i follow my normal timetable everyday right. Hope something spice up my life. I like excitment but often i dun get it. Bevin birthday coming, camp is coming, bbq is coming. I guess my wallet is empty soon. Dun like this feeling, spending so much $$ over nothing. When can i get my mp3. I hate discman, so troublesome. I need something small. I still can't feel the bond between i and my class in poly. I guess the ice still haven't break yet. I have fears of meeting people. i guess my strongest fear in me is tt i fear others. I just can't overcome it, i guess this is me. i can't change it right. Sch is alright but i hope i can mingle with my class soon so i can feel more happy when i go to sch. Studies are difficult lor esp engineering math. It is A MATH. I guess i will learn to like tt subject. i want to study hard. Sometimes i can enjoy studying. I dun want to be like last time, getting grades like just pass. I want to aim further. Feel so stress in class sometimes, so many people take pure subject and done so well in O lvl. Wat about me.

Freedom is wat i need to find, and peace is wat i need to treasure and warm light which surround me is wat others can do....... Dun ask me wat is this. Suddenly i feel this way in my life...

I feel so bored. Today got a lot of lectures but got one lecture i dun understand, i hope i can understand soon. I watch star wars with seow ye and shi xiang, yesterday. The show is so nice. Like shi xiang say, I dun mind watching the show again. Tml i will have 4 hours of break. So boring man. 4 hours do wat. I also dunno. Timetable sux for the week1 but i will be very bz from week 2 onwards. I really hope i can study hard. Now about sjab. Shld i quit? I really dunno? Shld i follow my heart or wat. I really feel tt everything is crap...... I want my peace and freedom in my heart. Is it tt i had to give up everything just to achieve tt. Ok enough of tt. I like my class, enjoy studying in poly. Poly is very different from seconday sch. I need time to adapt. I dun want take time off from poly. So troublesome. I want to study hard. Maybe i can find peace this way. But i need some life in my life. I getting really bored of stuff lately.

So tired after orientation. Find tt after lunch mostly the activities are bored cos i am sleepy, tired, restless and lack of sleep. HAHA. AS group so small lor. Ok lets start from the beginning. Bought newspaper to AS for charity then have some long lecture on rules and lessons. Which i am not listening. Can't be bother lor, is total crap. I won't break the rules by not doing something stupid lor. Then go for the games, which i got play lar. Make me so tired after the games lor. Haha my group won!! The sun was so hot, cause me have some sunburn. The lunch was better but still sux. Then we go for intersch games which i also join. Wao liao like everything ask me join. SIan!!! But fun lar haha. Then go to bedok reservoir, i was like sleeping through there then mid way can't stand it liao so back to tp walk walk until everything finish. Go back lecture room and take free gifts. SO many free gift lor, is tt where all the lunch money go to. hmmmmm maybe. haha. I like the AS waterbottle. True lor, we everything also green. HEHE!!!! Then i go have lunch with my friend, go dance night then go home. I am like so dead lor. Haha. Next week start sch liao, timetable like so pack. I am already crying for help. ARRR will i survive it!!!

Today went for tp orientation. Hmm class size of 20 and stick with them for like 3 years. Gd in a sense lar. I with a class tt i dunno anyone. None of the people i know same course as me. Pretty boring lor. I can't rmb people name well so quite hard to call them lor. But i am quite impressed by some cheers by the OL. Haha they really tried hard to make it less boring but i am still bored haha. Played those games but too bad the weather today not so gd lor, but hope tml weather is better. Tml will get our timetable and have briefing on ur course. The food sux lor, i mean wat they gave us in lunch time. Really like dog food. Haha. Still haven't made friends yet. Hopefully will make a friend soon!!! Tuesday start sch liao. So fast man. Hopefully i make a right choice and also can go through the 3 years of poly. Hmm i am so new to everything. Sigh.... But i will meet a lot of old friends there, and hopefully next time sooner or later, new friends. Tml heard till 8+. Reach home so late, sure very tired one. Just another day tml!!!!

I really dun understand a lot of things. Do things I believe in even existed? Is there really even such thing call freedom in this world? Do people has to use great effort and str to achieve this so call freedom? Y do i feel such pain in my heart? I wonder y people just can't do the things they want in life!!!!!!!!! Do people really think so badly about me, i wonder? I feel so stress and fuck up, y do i everytime shoulder the blame!!! When problem face up, i say, people not happy? I wonder y do i live in a world tt there r no freedom! U can't do the things u want. I know things nv go ur way but y can't i do think tt i believe is right. Emotion really can start a fight if u dun control it. I rather hack care everything. I dunno if i made the right choice. Hopefully is the right choice but nothing turn out right till now.

Today went to go collect my O lvl cert. The quality of the cert really sux lor. But i dun care haha. Then went out with shi xiang, li zhou, seow ye, guo jun, wei lee and wei song to go watch movie. I dun want to talk about the movie. Dislike horror movie but anyway was like a 6 VS 1. Nvm i guess i need to play along with them. It was a fun day going out with them. AND YA WATCH STAR WARS!! Hope to c u guys soon. Poly also starting liao. Sometimes i really want to forget everything and start my life anew.

Wed
Went to east coast with li zhou and shi xiang today. Haha it was a fun day. I made my ezlink card today. Wao liao it was like so fast. Scan ur ic then give u a receipt and tt is all. Fast, i like it. Then after tt go east coast go cycle. Today sun so hot lor but lucky we nv go to the sun often, cycle under the bicycle tracks so all like shading one. Sian want to play basketball tomorrow but people not free. Sian sian!!!!! I just started to watch gundam SD anime. Wow so nice lor. Find those character so cute. I am in love with it. Poly life starting soon and i dun really feel like even starting sch. Something is missing in my life. I wonder wat??????

Been sick for the past two days. Having fever and flu. Hate the idea having headache. Always make me have illusion and fear( nightmare). But this time i dun believe in it and go against it. Hate this feeling. Everything fever this happen to me. Haha i bought wat i needed already and i really like my windbreaker. Went to shopping with shi xiang for the whole day. We went bugis then to orchand then to queenway then back to orchand. Very tired day, i guess this is y i fall sick and also been eating heaty food.

Wat a hot weather today. Cannot stand it!!! Hmmm plan to go shopping tomorrow. Yeah finally i can do some shopping. I need to buy some things for poly and for personal uses. Dun anyhow thing. Wat i plan to buy: A jacket/ windbreaker and pouch and if got $$ left i want to buy cap. I am so bored today at home. As usual i woke up late. Nothing to do anyway. I getting old i guess, losing my memories. Actually is i can't be bother to remember things. Y bother? Haha i am so slack man.... Poly starting soon. New lifestyle i guess. Guess i dun mind, quite looking forward to it. People say my course very hard to study. LOL i am going to cry lor. I want to have some challenge but i am i deserve it. HAHA nvm lar. Time to die i go die lor. Hmmm still got two weeks more to sch. Wat shld i do? Feel tt i am wasting time away, which i dun like. But watever ok. Hope can find joy and freedom soon

I am so tired. Went out the whole day, actually dun feel like going home to face my mom tt y i stay up so late then go home. Maybe one day i will rent a house or wat so i can live alone. Sigh...... Today got sjab meeting and after tt went to bugis. Played cs with jin hui. I want to improve ok. How how?? Train more lor. Haha. Hope tomorrow will be a better day. I hate family prob. I want to slack and slack.