Today felt slightly happier. Y, cos i dunno, cos maybe today nv think much. Today went to sch of AM lesson first and the question is damm stupid. I do and do also dunno use wrong table, then teacher scold me tt i nv read the bk carefully. Wat the hell, if i know i won't use the wrong table and waste my time right. Crap. Then after tt was TD and OC lab. Td lab was fast lar. 2 h finish everything, then went canteen to slack and eat something. Then it was OC lab. Our last OC lab already. So fast right. But today the reaction quite fun. Haven't learn yet, but is making dye. The process quite easy too. Tml still have pipc test. Study almost everything but scared they come out funny funny question. I think i dun hope so much. Everytime the more i hope, the harder i fall. Can pass can liao.

Yeah, another stupid day right. Ya...... All my days are crap anyway. Woke up at 3pm today. Went to do my hw and after tt went out to eat. After tt return home watch some tape and cont my hw. Hais..... dun even know if tml got oc test or not. Study and study yet dun understand anything, just like making myself more confusing. I so feeling like giving up in everything i do. I will not successed also get more bad luck. Nothing in my life can go smoothly one. Life is so crap for me, i just dun understand y must it be like tt. Ppl say when u think life is gd, it will be gd but i dun think tt way. Last time maybe yes but after so long i dun believe in this stupid saying anymore. I am not lucky, i am just plain unlucky in my life. In a sentense, my life today as usual SUXS.

Yet i dun understand y do some ppl have already a lot of things yet not happy over a lot of things. When they have something they still feel tt they lack of something and get angry and sad. This is so so so dammmmm stupid. I dun understand u guys. Weird ppl, or no i am weird. Maybe i shld just die right.

Today went with guo jun and shi xiang to queentown to buy shoes, clothers. Spend quite a lot time there and bought a shoes. Stay at the queentown shopping centre there for 3.5 h to 4 hours like tt. Standing so long make my legs so tired and somemore in mrt so many ppl on the train. Hais...... hate to go out like this esp on weekend where everywhere is so crowded and i dun understand y govt want ppl to give birth to more baby when s'pore is so crowded already. After tt went back to bedok and eat and chit chat at mac. After tt went home liao.

Went to cut my hair yesterday and the person cut until so short. ARRRR i hope my hair faster grow back ba. Haha. Finally completed ff4 the game liao. Really need to study soon. Next week so many test. Hais...... At least am teacher let us choose the test day ourself. So tt the date will not cramp together. Haha

I feeling i am trap in my past darkness. I can't return to sjab anymore as it seriously bring me a lot of pain and those painful memories. Really want to forget everything in sjab cos it really sux in my pt of view. Not saying ppl shld not join but in my pt of view it is very very sux. "friends" in the past also cause me part of my past darkness. Sometime can't get them off in my mind and wat will i do when i c them in sch. Really hate all this, y u all had to come into my life, y u all must be like tt, i dun understand u all. I hate life, shldn't in life ppl be nice to u, u be nice back to them. But in my life this is not the case. Everytime i feel tt i am a bit lucky today or something like tt, something bad happen to me. I dun want to be happy, love , having hope, i am really afraid to be hurt onces more. I lost my trust in ppl, i lost trust in myself, i hate life............

Feeling so bored these few days. Playing ff4 on my com. My dad just came back from oversea. And bought quite a few clothers. Want to go out buy some new clothers also cannot. Maybe buying shoes instead. Tp is having open house these few days and the sch seems so messy. It seems a better open house than last year. Also clear OC project and math problem statement 2 is also finishing liao. But means exam is coming too and next week has so many test. Sian.

Tml finally can go out for a walk. Very sian to play game and trap at home. Hais......

Life is a complete mess. I think i going crazy soon.

Yy u say setback are used to train u. Yet i feel tt i am like being train to hate ppl and train to not to trust ppl now. Everytime i tried to trust completely on a friend, they tend to betray or hurt me. I am so sick of this ending. Dun u find tt my years in sjab are so damm wasted. Yes i did learn something from there but i think i lost a lot of things in it too. I hate to go back, i dun have a sense of belonging. The only thing i feel is loneness and my hate toward the sch. Everytime i go back i feel so cold and empty esp yesterday when i sit in the room with u guys until the moment i cannot tahan and choose to leave.

Today has a formal presentation. Really not happy with it. First i feel tt i could done better but i did not. Another one is my classmates like want to harm me. Purposely ask a question tt know tt i did not know but want me to answer. Already want to push tt question to my friend but die die want me answer. Idiot sia. Wat did i do wrong. everyone say u got attitude prob. Dun think u so great. Smart so wat, U R A IDIOT. Somemore tml need to do project with u. I am so dammmmm unlucky to be in same grp as u.
Tml still got adverture learning and tutiorial and project to do. Long day. Hais......... i am dying.....

It has been raining for quite a few days already. Really dun feel like waking up today but still need to go to sch. Sian. Go sch for two hour lesson only yet is feel like so boring. Heard also got a lot of make up lesson for PIPC cos of up coming holidays. Then after tt went to com lab cont to do the CSAS powerpoint presentation. Sian spend so much time in doing this presentation already.

After tt went to bgss for sjab oriention. Very bored. Saw some idiotic faces which i dun want to c. I shld not have go back but i also very long nv go back so i feel tt i must go back today. Had a talk with miss kweh. I made up my mind in quitting sjab liao. Is really no pt staying in this cca tt i really dun like. Even sms one officer. Trying to use a more offical tone to talk to u. Yet u think i am being rude. Officer think they very big ar. Crap!!! Then go into sjab room also nothing to talk to them. Really can't get along with them. Until i cannot tahan, i rather go to derrick house do project. I am so happy tt i leave this sch man. Sjab bring me pain and memories tt i want to forget. Ppl i hate are there, ppl who r nasty r there too. Too little nice ppl for me to stay in the sjab liao. I hate myself for going OTC. Maybe if i nv go OTC all this might not happen.

I feel after all this happen. I feel tt i am like a program. Being used up ppl when they need u and forget about u once they have used u. Program has no feeling and i am beginning to feel tt no feeling in me. I feeling lost and more lost each day just like a program floating in the harddrive dunno where to go. Maybe i will get deleted one day. I really hope tt day will come soon.

Tml have formal presentation. Hope i am well prepare. A bit nervous. Nv give presentation in LT before. Stress. There is always first time :)

I am feeling more and more tired by the day. Woke up in the morning feeling full of energy but the moment is getting shorter and shorter. I saw something in a website tt says tt ppl keep complain tt life is short but in actual fact is tt life is long enough and for me i feel tt is too long. My mood also getting worse and worse by the day.

Just now watching tv i dunno is it better for ppl to vote out the ppl they dun want instead of voting ppl they want. They might earn more money. Hehe. LOL. Not interested anyway just thought of tt suddenly and feel like posting it.

Life is so bored and i getting so disappointed with life everyday. I hate really to make a very gd friend cos everytime i do tt i feel like kena betray like tt. I hate this. I hate idiotic ppl. I hate to tolerance with other ppl. Hais.....

friday have presentation liao and i am like not so prepared and like so many project to finish. CRAP. y must everything come together. Y must i be so careless and forgot this and tt and make myself seems like a fool. I hate this world, i hate myself.

Went out to study stat along with derrick and yy. Haha thanks yy for teaching us stat. Really a thanks. Dun say u nv did much lei. At least we learn something. Better than nothing haha.

Then after tt went to watch movie with derrick and his two friend. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit is so nice. So funny and interesting. The dog is so smart. I wish i got a dog like Gromit. Just like a human but can't talk and far more loyal. Haha. Cute too. Thn after tt went to buy a shirt and tie for CSAS presentation the coming friday. Hais. Total waste of $$ in my opinion. Nvm. Then went to play basketball near derrick house. Haha so long nv exercise like today. Run a bit very tired liao. I need to exercise more often i guess. Tml the rest of my poly friends also coming my house to do csas. So tired. I hate all this project. So tired.

Sorry Qiu ling. Forgot to pass u the sjab belt. I will pass to u soon. I am just too forgetful liao. Haha.

Sorry yy for being late today. Haha. Just cannot wake up. SORRY!!!

Life is getting numb. Getting bored. Everything move too slow. I am also finding myself getting very impatience. Hais....... Life is so numb

Get back two paper result liao. Just can say i not happy with my result. Pass one, fail one. Hais.......... Today also got applied math pbl lesson. Dun understand anything lor. Hope can understand those stat soon. Wanted to do OC one, yet some ppl keep pushing it off. Want to show attitude ar. Idiotic ppl. Thn we also pei derrick go sign up flag day things for like 2h. Went to eat then collect. At first at tp bus stop then move to bedok. Then i also go get my blood test result. B+. Dunno wat the + means but watever. Sian. Today so tired. After tt still go lib to study stat but also dun understand. Then go for my cds lecture. Was planning not to go but also think if get back test paper how. So still went for it. As usual not much ppl go. Sometimes quite pity the lecturer. Haha. Shld be sleeping early today. Been so slack this few days. Hais........

Sch is going to start tml. So bored. Dun feel like going to sch yet also dun want to slack at home doing nothing. Now clearing those WS and notes. So messy sia. Hais dun even feel like clearing those. Tml sch starting at 9. Hais new term. Going to be bz. Two project haven't do yet. Hais....... Life is boring.

In my world, i have lost all hopes in this depressing world. I hope for nothing now as all hope is lost. I am disappointed. I thought i did not express myself well enough and tried to express myself more clearly yet no one still understand me. I have no more hope in this world even i die the next moment i also won't mind. I have nothing to hold on in this world. I rather create my dream world and be in it forever. Maybe i am just no suitable to be in this world ba........I am just too disappointed in everything in my life ba.

In a new year, i realise there r a lot so irrating ppl in my life. Do i have to always tolerate with them. Nvm.

New year eve was boring at first thn after tt plan to play badminton. Went to my house the cc there and try to book the court but cannot becos there is a wedding there. They book the whole cc, hais, nvm lar. Need to find another place lor. then after tt we decided to meet at derrick house with kelvin and went to his house cc there to play badminton. But the cc there dun have a badminton court. Nvm. Go bedok stadium play ba. Walk until there, found out the price to rent a court is very ex. Walk to fengshan, hope got cheaper court. The charge is cheaper, haha finally can play badminton there. Rent for 2h and have some exercise and fun. Like so long nv exercise liao. then after tt went 85 market to have dinner. Kelvin and derrick nv go there eat before lor. And me, go there so many times liao. Bring back some happy and unhappy memories for me. Nvm, after tt went home cos kelvin and i have some tv program to watch. Wat a boring new year eve.

New year day, nv do much except sleeping. Like been out everyday in term break so wanted to have a rest lor. Boring........ Hope tml is a better day.