Wah really tired today sia. Went with leo for dinner and then went to beach to chit chat a while before i go out to compresspoint to fetch my mom. Today working was really really tired. Watching the video for like 8 hours. My eyes was like very tired after watching the video. The word keep coming to my mind was to endure and endure till the day end. Dunno can survive for 4 months and this is only my 3rd week. Tired tired.

A long day on sat. SJAB, sch, SJAB, sch.......... WAH!!!!!!!!!

I just found out something new and tt thing is disappointing. I suddenly feel tt in the past i am just wrong. Totally wrong just to think tt way. Y does it have to end up this way w/o me knowing anything. Seriously i want to know how r u even i dun get the story at all?

Seriously i am getting tired mentally and physically. Sometimes i really hope tt a miracle can really happen. Something i really wanted to say yet i dun think i can say it.

Thought of a mp title thanks to one colleague and i going to try to proposal to my manager on monday. I really think it will be a very very bz week for me next week as i have to hand up my MP proposal and also try to find those sjab item during such a short timeframe.

* I am in my own world dreaming of impossible just at least to c u again*
i want to go back to the past before everything happen.......... :)

So i have been doing sip for nearly two weeks and i think is ok ba just tt everyday feel like a repeated day for me. I seriously headache over my MP ok. It is very hard for me to think of something to do lor and even i thought of one idea. I either scared it is too easy or too difficult to achieve tt kind of work. Y do Mark tan have to say tt if u want me to give u a MP title= highest C grade while other ppl get to do their MP based on the lecturer idea on the MP. Just so unfair.

Been doing SIP and just have to push myself to do it. I dunno is it cos of SIP or wat but i just want to do something which i dun think it will work out. Hais.........
Am i just holding on just to move forward, i dunno just want to give myself a ray of hope or just lying to myself.

Finally finish my first week of sip. Really, seriously it can end faster. I think i got Ponophobia which means fear of work. I feel stress during work and when i reach home, i can't really relax cos i am afraid i over relax and fear work more. Hais.......... Really jealous of those ppl having their sip so enjoyable by playing laptop and slacking in msn and some even say that they have too much free time. SAD SAD SAD.

Why Mr tang must put me in this company when derrick told me tt the director of his research company say tt is ok to work in lab for a colourblind person. Put me there alone somemore. It this bad luck or wat cos since i was bored i seriously believe my luck is just NOT there.

Bought a new bag for myself. Very long nv buy bag and i think i need a bag to go out and also for work. Chose a blue colour bag sia. I think is pretty cool, i mean the design.

Tml i still have to go for sjab meeting which i dun think i will go often cos i am bz with my sms and also troubled over my own things. And also morning going to cycle for a bit. I seriously need some exercises..... I hope i can really grow up and be stronger during my sip. Feeling damm weak and just can't help it.. :'(


*Do i really want to gamble it, a one time stake to lost it all or to win*
Confused