I believe once a person die, it will become just nothing, no heaven nor hell. The reason ppl believe in good and bad, heaven and hell is because they want to find a reason for ppl to do gd stuff and a lack of reason for ppl to do bad things. For eg if a bad person just do bad things and go to hell, ppl believe tt will make them feel sort of happier rather then believing someone will just disappear to thin air when he/she die. Dun hope to die becos u only have one chance to stay alive and die once. Just finish ur life and bye bye u go. Anyway u going to die one day. Living long is also not a gd things and this make it no purpose in living is wat i feeling now.
For me to realise tt this world is not as simple as i thought so and friendship is such a weak bonding. Ppl might act to be ur friend and also might be friend just to take advantage of u. Effort u put into a friendship is also often wasted. And ppl just tell me tt "
This is life" Really not happy just to hear and accept tt it is part of life. I just feel tt human r just too weak for anything. Rather call urself close friend can change the word to family might be a better choice. Friends do make u believe them over and over again just to cheat u and yet ppl say y do they have reason to do tt becos one they do not realise wat r they doing, two they r cheating and acting, third they just can't be bother yet dun want to tell u up front tt they dun like u and rather we friend and not enemies with u cos having a friend is better than a enemies. I really want to go study human better, just to say if such things as satan exist, it must be a human for being the most evilest things on earth tt polluted and destroy their own kind and even the planet they are living in.
Hais, i think i shld be name as a sadist of the world, who can show me goodness in this world and i can feel tt it is good. I think tt y i feel so bored cos nothing much in this world exist for me to feel happy. Love, friendship, family and money r becoming things tt i dun believe in. I dun want to fall in love again. I dun trust my friend as easily as before. I dun communicate well with my family nor they know me well, and money is nv enough for anyone.
It is a fact for me being a more serious sadist as i think more at night. I think in fact at night it is a different me.